Just like that it happens: You've fallen madly, hopelessly, in love!  You've never been more elated.  And the object of your love isn't the only beneficiary: suddenly you love everyone and everything – including your ex-friends and the family you haven't spoken to for years.  You feel like the luckiest person alive.  And, with good reason!  Your love interest is the most irresistibly beautiful or handsome creature on the face of the earth.  No one can compare to your new paramour.  He or she is absolutely perfect, just as is.  (Amazingly, you wouldn't change a thing!)  You marvel at this heavenly being: not a single flaw, not the tiniest blemish – entirely foible-less!  And as if that weren't enough, your new love is the intellectual equal of Einstein; the comic rival of George Burns or Gracie Allen; and, the empathic equal of Mother Teresa!  Your prayers have been answered!

Yes, life is perfect – wild and delicious – a whirlwind of indescribable delights.  At other times, even a small breeze could knock you off course, but not now.  Everything is extraordinary now.  You are as happy as a clam, reveling in the preciousness of every sacred moment.  In fact, you may act rashly.  You may think nothing of public displays of affection: slavering full-tongue kissing in public places, sex in the backseat of taxis, bathroom stalls, restaurants, movie theaters, or ___________  (you fill in the blank), patronizing XXX-Rated stores to buy open-crotched panties, whips, handcuffs, or other toys.  But, really, who could blame you for losing all sense of propriety?  After all, the object of your affection is an enthusiastic volunteer (that's right, folks: volunteer, as in one who does charitable work, as in work without pay, as in free of charge!) of unlimited body massage and fellatio!  And, further, under the circumstances, who could reproach you for buying all those extravagant gifts – even the gifts you can't afford?  (Amazingly, after years of worry, buyer's remorse, and bad credit, money is no longer an issue in your life!)  You may also act hastily: move in with your beloved after only a week or two; talk of marriage, children.  Yes, you assure yourself, this is the one!  The (man or woman) of my dreams!  And for that matter, why wait?  Why not jet off to Vegas or Reno and pay an Elvis look-a-like to tie your knot?  (Remarkably, your life-long dream of a big wedding with all the accouterment seems ostentatious and silly.  What were you ((and your mother and father)) thinking all those years?)

Although falling in love renders some senses inoperative, it also kicks other senses into overdrive.  Every touch from your lover causes you to quiver and quake.  Every sound, more dulcet and euphonious than the last.  Your olfactory organs hunger for the redolence of his or her body odor.  Music is so mellifluous that you are moved to mewl.  (Why did it take you so long to appreciate Big Daddy Kane?)  Velveeta?  Ambrosia.  A Whopper?  Aphrodisiac.  Yes, you have become quixotic.  And, you are driven, possessed and compelled, to express your feelings of love, desire, and need, at every opportunity and in every conceivable way.  You simply must effuse!  Curiously, your effusiveness may fluctuate to the extreme: from the dim-witted and gauche (read: Infant-Directed Speech (aka "baby-talk") to the urbane and clever (read: poetic love letters).  Since the endlessly embarrassing vocabulary for baby-talk seems to develop and pour forth quite naturally – e.g. "schmoopie-whoopie", "mushky-patushky" et al – there is no need for erudition or elaboration.  However, when it comes to the language of love letters . . . well, that's another story!

Therefore, for the madly in love (and the madly in lust), I offer the following list of words.  When used with uncensored abandon – either singularly or in combination – these words can profoundly provoke the desired outcome.

Amatory:   of or showing sexual love

Amorous:  fond of making love or full of love

Beatific:   full of bliss

Billet-doux:   a love letter

Concupiscence:   strong desire, especially sexual desire; lust

Cupidity:   eager or excessive desire, especially to possess something or someone

Delectable:   delicious; delightful; heavenly

Desideratum:   something needed and wanted; desired

Enchantress:   an irresistibly charming woman

Enrapture:   captivate; mesmerize; to fill with delight

Feral:   untamed; wild; savage

Fervor:   great warmth of emotion; passion; ardor

Genuflect:   to bend the knee, as in worship; to show respect for

Grandeur:   splendor; magnificence

Halcyon:   tranquil; heavenly; idyllic

Hallow:   to make or regard as holy; consecrate; sanctify

Illimitable:   without limit; immeasurable; never-ending

Ineffable:   inexpressible; too sacred to be spoken

Jocund:   cheerful; joyful; lively

Jubilation:   euphoria; elation; joyousness

Kismet:   fate; destiny

Kittenish:   coyly playful

Lambent:   light and graceful

Libidinous:   lustful

Mellifluous:   sounding sweet and smooth

Moonstruck:   romantically dreamy

Nonpareil:   unequaled; unrivaled; peerless

Numinous:   magical; mystical; supernatural; spiritual

Opulent:   sumptuous; lavish; magnificent

Osculate:   to kiss

Panacea:   a remedy for all ills

Prurient:   tendency to excite lust

Quiescent:   quiet; still

Quintessence:   the pure essence or perfect type

Raison d'être:   reason for being

Rhapsodic:   ecstatic

Salacious:   lustful

Sate:   to satisfy completely

Titillate:   to excite  

Transport:   enrapture

Unction:   anything that soothes or comforts

Unwonted:   exceptional; extraordinary; rare

Visceral:   intuitive, emotional rather than intellectual

Voluptuary:   one devoted to sensual pleasure

White heat:   a state of intense emotion

Winsome:   sweetly attractive; charming

Xanadu:   a place of great beauty, luxury, and contentment

X-rated:   sexually explicit

Yearning:   deep longing, especially accompanied by tenderness

Yielding:   flexible, submissive

Zeal:   ardor; fervor

Zenith:   the highest point

The above list includes only two words beginning with each letter of the alphabet.  These are but a very small sampling.  A read of any dictionary will quickly avail the lovelorn of the vast and delightful cornucopia of words awaiting discovery!  However, at the moment of truth, if all else fails, the person in love can always fall back on the much-used and admired standard – the three simple words that seem to say it all and do the trick every time: I love you.