Yesterday I was at a conference in Melbourne discussing how our beliefs create our futures, in fact they create our realities.
Action is really the tip of the iceberg.
What is happening under the water (our beliefs) determines what actions we will take today and tomorrow.
What you may not realise that we have formed a huge majority of our beliefs by the time we are 7 years old.
Certainly the beliefs we have about ourselves.
And these beliefs can be the most important.
If you don't believe you deserve to be happy then you won't be.
In any area of your life.
You won't be happy with your relationships, your wealth, your career, your health etc.
And that all starts with the images and beliefs of ourselves we form as children.
So how does all this work? We observe experiences, information and data.
We add meanings to that information which can come from either personal or cultural influences and ultimately we make assumptions/conclusions.
This causes us to form beliefs and it is from those beliefs we take action.
I had a client once who was intelligent and really had a lot of things going for him.
Yet he was struggling with his professional life.
Whenever he started to see success in his work life, something "out of the blue" would happen and he would lose his job or quit.
We discovered that at the age of 3, when he brought home his first painting from pre-school his parents weren't interested.
Yet he was so excited.
His parents definitely loved him, but it wasn't important to them...
even though it was extremely important to him.
He thought it meant that anything he did wasn't worth recognition.
He wasn't worthy.
This was confirmed to him on other occasions as well, so he adopted the belief.
As a result he took this belief with him into adulthood.
Whenever things were going well for him, he would sabotage himself (without even realising it) simply because he didn't believe he was worthy of it.
We as parents are the most influential people in helping with our kids self-image, especially in this formative years.
We are helping to "program" them with the beliefs that will influence them for the rest of their lives.
Yes we can change our beliefs, I'm living proof of that.
But sometimes it isn't quite so easy to spot.
With that in mind, doesn't it make sense we take every opportunity to help "program" our kids with a great self-worth and self-esteem? The beliefs "underneath the water" will ensure the actions they take are taking them towards reaching their goals...
rather than steering them in the opposite direction.
What an exciting future awaits them then.