How we look on the outside is not always within our control.
In 2003 Jerry Lewis looked huge.
He was apparently on a steroid medication for back pain causing immense weight gain.
He was barely recognizable, yet he's still Jerry Lewis.
I haven't seen or heard him complain about his changed appearance, rather he's working on his various projects, including the Jerry Lewis Telethon which in 2003 netted over 60 million dollars! Quite an accomplishment.
It is who we are inside that really counts.
You are Still You After the fall that turned the late Christopher Reeve into a quadriplegic, his devoted wife Dana Reeve said, "I still love you no matter what.
You are still you.
" He certainly looked nothing like the man she'd married only three years before, but she knew the real Christopher Reeve and wanted him by her side.
Warts or wheelchairs, doesn't matter.
The real you is inside looking out.
I know, we all want to look good as well as feel good.
Far better to befriend yourself, warts and all, and then work toward small improvements.
Imagine if we constantly pointed out our friend's flaws and minor imperfections? We probably wouldn't have many friends.
You are a Beautiful Spirit Those with twisted useless limbs are just as vibrant, with just as much potential, and in many cases go further and do more than those with all the benefits of outward beauty.
Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I prefer ugly kittens, and I'm drawn to homely dolls (my mother convinced me that Chatty Cathy was the most beautiful doll in the world and I still think so, in fact my son bought me one for Christmas).
Next chance you get, gaze into a mirror right into your eyes.
Look beyond your outward appearance and see into your true self.
If you hear yourself mentioning some flaw, gently disregard it, and go back to looking inside.
The eyes are the window to the soul, and the soul is formless.
Embrace it, hold it close because that's who you really are.
Our outward appearance is a reflection of our inner selves but it's not who we are.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to Get Over Yourself Use EFT to get past the emotional attachment you may have to saying you're not right, perfect, or good enough.
Remember, it's okay to be flawed.
We're all a work-in-progress.
"Even though I'm not looking at myself in the mirror, I don't care what anyone says, I deeply and completely accept myself.
" "Even though I don't want to see myself as I really am, I deeply and completely accept myself.
" "Even though I'm afraid of what I'll see, I deeply and completely accept myself.
"Even though they said I was ugly, I deeply and completely accept myself.
" "Even though they laughed and called me names, I deeply and completely accept myself.
" "Even though I avoid looking at myself because I hate what I see, I deeply and completely accept myself.
" EFT helps by disrupting the usual pathways our brain patterns take.
For instance when you are saying the words, "I hate my nose" your brain is sending signals and flashing neurons down a familiar path to get from what you are saying to what you are thinking to what you are feeling, all in the flash of a nanosecond.
Telling yourself you hate your nose may make you feel sad, lonely or even angry, but does hating your nose do anything for you? Probably not.
Try EFT while thinking that same thought (I hate my nose) then see what happens.
The usual path your thoughts take will be changed.
How to Do EFT Here's an example of how to perform EFT in this circumstance: After the set-up phrase (usually your "issue" plus the words, "even though I have this issue (substituting your issue) I deeply and completely accept myself.
So, here you'd say, "Even though I hate my nose, I deeply and completely accept myself.
" Say that three times through while tapping the side of the hand or the sore spot.
Then moving to the face and body points, start with the inner eyebrow point and say, "Even though I hate this stupid nose," then move to the outer eyebrow, "Oh how I hate my stupid nose," then to under the eye (you're tapping and saying the words either softly or silently).
Keep moving through the tapping points, saying the same words, or change them.
It's okay to change what you say, just talk to yourself the way you usually would when you're having a complaining session, and then you may think, "actually my nose isn't THAT bad," or even start to smile and realize, "Hey, it's just a nose.
What's the big deal?" When you've finished all the tapping points, re-rate your issue on the SUD level of 1 to 10, and see if you're making progress.
How is disrupting the thought path useful? Interrupting the usual path gives you an opportunity to make a change.
You do have a choice yet it seems you don't because the brain jumps on autopilot so quickly.
To stop persistent thoughts and remove the highly charged emotional responses to specific memories try EFT, and see what happens.
How does EFT work? I don't know, really, but I drive a car and can't explain how it works either.
I suggest trying EFT, and then deciding if it was helpful.