A Newlywed Guide to Christian Marriage and Sex
Perhaps this article should be entitled "Recovering Your Newlywed Attitude Toward Christian Marriage and Sex"! It would seem that most newlyweds are rarely at a loss for how much, where or when to have sex. That being said, it also seems that Christ can be forgotten amidst the passion and heat of a new Christian marriage. God certainly has a lot to say to Christian couples regarding their sexual relationship. Here are four practices that you and your spouse can put to work to deepen both your sex life and your walk with God as a couple, regardless of how long (or how short) you've been married.
#1 - Pray. Cover your marriage bed in prayer. Pray together that God would deepen your connection with each other, not only sexually but emotionally and spiritually as well. Pray for the unity that Mark speaks about. "And the two shall become one flesh..." Pray for what you want for your spouse, sexually speaking. Perhaps there is healing needed, from past wounds. Bring Christ into all of it, from healing to satisfaction to bliss. Where possible, pray together! This can be very uncomfortable but the key is just doing it. Just start. And don't try to be eloquent or wordy. She prays for him and he prays for her.
#2 - Talk. In the morning, share your experience from the night before. Share what you felt in your body and your spirit. Share memories and stories. This can be a very fun and enlightening time. Ask questions of each other. "When I did this, what was happening to you?" Or, "When this happened, tell me what you felt." And then, thank each other for both the experience and the conversation.
#3 - Pursue. As life gets busy and couples get familiar with each other, it's all too easy to begin to take each other for granted. The roses and date nights that were such an important part of engagement give way to soccer practices and late nights at work. Just like you would schedule a workout or a meeting with a client, schedule a weekly date. At the beginning of your time together, share your hardest time of the week and what you are most grateful for. At the end of your time, share an affirmation with each other. Compliment each other's strengths, gifts, bodies or accomplishments.
#4 - Stay hot. Don't be afraid to pray for passion together! That heat, that sexual excitement, is a sign of God's presence in your sexual relationship, particularly when it is expressed selflessly and for the satisfaction of each other, rather than oneself. Pick new places and times to make love. Play games. Share sensual massages. Explore each other. Realize that God is alive in all aspects of your Christian marriage and sex is not excluded!
#1 - Pray. Cover your marriage bed in prayer. Pray together that God would deepen your connection with each other, not only sexually but emotionally and spiritually as well. Pray for the unity that Mark speaks about. "And the two shall become one flesh..." Pray for what you want for your spouse, sexually speaking. Perhaps there is healing needed, from past wounds. Bring Christ into all of it, from healing to satisfaction to bliss. Where possible, pray together! This can be very uncomfortable but the key is just doing it. Just start. And don't try to be eloquent or wordy. She prays for him and he prays for her.
#2 - Talk. In the morning, share your experience from the night before. Share what you felt in your body and your spirit. Share memories and stories. This can be a very fun and enlightening time. Ask questions of each other. "When I did this, what was happening to you?" Or, "When this happened, tell me what you felt." And then, thank each other for both the experience and the conversation.
#3 - Pursue. As life gets busy and couples get familiar with each other, it's all too easy to begin to take each other for granted. The roses and date nights that were such an important part of engagement give way to soccer practices and late nights at work. Just like you would schedule a workout or a meeting with a client, schedule a weekly date. At the beginning of your time together, share your hardest time of the week and what you are most grateful for. At the end of your time, share an affirmation with each other. Compliment each other's strengths, gifts, bodies or accomplishments.
#4 - Stay hot. Don't be afraid to pray for passion together! That heat, that sexual excitement, is a sign of God's presence in your sexual relationship, particularly when it is expressed selflessly and for the satisfaction of each other, rather than oneself. Pick new places and times to make love. Play games. Share sensual massages. Explore each other. Realize that God is alive in all aspects of your Christian marriage and sex is not excluded!
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