Does this mean that every parent has to start from scratch and simply improvise for twenty or so years, hoping that they'll eventually nail it? Fortunately, no. Both cognitive studies and generations of experience have shown that some methods do work better than others. It's just a matter of personal experimentation and figuring out what works for you and your child.

Given that people's methods of communication are different, it's important to use a method that works with this fundamental fact instead of against it. This means openly acknowledging each other's different communication styles, and learning how to communicate in such a way that there's no misunderstanding.

The first step to good communication is the ability to be honest with your child. Children have an innate ability to see through dishonesty, and if you can't be honest, your children will end up having little trust in what you say and will tend to be dismissive even when you are communicating something important.

Naturally, there are some things that you may feel are inappropriate for your child to hear or know. In this case, instead of lying, simply tell them the truth: that it isn't a topic you are willing to discuss with them.

The amount you need to share with your child, and the manner in which you choose to share it will need to take into account the child's age and experience. Parents also need to be a little bit sensitive about the time and place where they choose to bring up certain topics.

Let's say you wish to impart a lesson about appropriate behavior with respect to other people's property. A good time to do so may be when there's a TV show on that delves into the subject, or demonstrates something that you feel would make a good lesson. However, instead of lecturing your child about it, it's better to approach the subject as a discussion.

For example, saying "Wow! Did you see what that boy did to his friend's toys? I'd really hate it if someone did that to me, what do you think?" Is a better approach than, "I hope you never do anything like that!"

In the first instance, you're getting your child's opinion, and respecting their viewpoint. This is the sort of scenario that can lead to a friendly discussion between parent and child.

In the second instance, you're almost suggesting to your child that he or she would do something like that, and telling them not to do it. Naturally, your child will feel resentful about you making such a suggestion, and will probably not want to listen to anything else you have to say about the matter.

Despite their occasional bravado, children are aware that they don't know as much as adults and look to them for input. When that input is delivered in a respectful, honest manner most children will respond positively the majority of the time - provided the approach is followed consistently.

This article is excerpted from the Skinny Report "Parenting". Skinny Reports offers a wide variety of information products on topics that matter to you. All Fact, No Fillers. You can download your copy of "Parenting" by visiting http://www.SkinnyReports.com

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