"Noooo" my daughter squealed as I tried to take her from our childcare provider.
It was heart-wrenching.
I was already feeling insecure about the relationship between my career, and my ability to be adequately present as a mother, but this was the topper.
All day long, I had been second-guessing my every decision or action.
I was worrying that my child wasn't feeling loved enough, special enough or having the appropriate amount of mommy time.
After all, it is tough to see your children favor someone over you, if only temporarily, and not question your role as a mother.
As luck would have it, a few days later I was chatting with a friend of mine who is a stay-at-home mom.
Over coffee, she shared how, as of late, her 14 month old daughter seemed to prefer most everyone - even random strangers - to her.
The timing of her story was so ironic that I almost spit out my delicious coffee! "Really?" I said.
Not having heard my reply, my friend went on to confide that she feared the cause of her daughter's new-found anti-mom behavior was because she was a stay-at-home mom and perhaps her daughter spent too much time with her.
I had to laugh! My laugh caught the attention of my friend.
"What's so funny?" she asked a little hurt.
I then explained that my daughter was doing the very same thing, but that I was blaming the exact opposite cause - I was blaming the fact that I work outside the home.
As mothers, we naturally are mindful of the impact that our decisions are having on our children.
At the same time, I think it is easy to question our decisions...
to read our own sensitivities and insecurities into some scenarios.
Considering that raising happy, healthy children is the highest priority to us mothers, I think we can develop a rawness or sensitivity to certain stages.
To this end, I believe it is crucial to remember that children develop through a series of phases which means that not every squeal, frustration, or momentary favoritism should be taken seriously, let alone, personally.
Rather, we need to remind ourselves that children do odd things from time to time.
Their moods can shift quickly, as can their actions, and peculiar developmental phases will often pass before you can hope or need to address.
I have noticed this with my daughter.
Most of the time, she is a happy little toddler.
She smiles and laughs almost constantly, but there are times when nothing satisfies her, and I know it is not the result of lack of sleep, hunger, teething challenges, or a dirty diaper - it just is.
I like to think of it, as growing pains, but I'm sure there is a much more accurate developmental term or explanation.
Nonetheless, the fact remains that children are just little people with good days (mostly) and some bad.
The point is that often mothers hold themselves to impeccable standards.
We want our children to be happy every second of the day.
More than that, we believe that it is our role to make them happy, and we seek perfection in our every move.
Yet, it is this unrealistically high-standard that causes us the most grief.
I believe that we should give our best to our children, and we should strive to provide what our children need.
But! We should also remember that beating ourselves up at every turn only serves to demoralize us: It doesn't foster the type of parent we want to be, and it doesn't change the outcome.
Beyond that, our insecurities more often than not prove ill-founded.
Instead, let's focus our efforts on loving our children.
If you ask me, this is the best way to ensure that we're raising happy children.
Embrace Your MOMentum.