When struggling with a child's difficult behavior, it is common for us to cope rather than determine the underlying cause.
We get so deep in the thick of despair, it is difficult to dig out of it.
Recurring Rationalizations, Defenses, and Excuses of Parents of Children with ADHD:

• Denial-"I'm not sure he has ADHD.
  "  (He's difficult, but you don't know why.
  )  "He can pay attention when he's watching a movie or playing with his toys.
  "  (Kids with ADHD can pay attention under five conditions.
  )  "He's fine.
    There's nothing wrong with him.
  He's just...
  His dad used to...
  When things get back to normal, he'll...
  " (The list goes on.
  )
• Self-doubt-"I must have bad genes to have created a kid like this.
  "  (Slow down, you can't be more than 50% responsible for his genes.
  )
• Attention-seeking-"He's constantly in my face demanding something.
    It's exhausting.
  "
• His chaos is your chaos.
  

Home chaos-"He's disorganized and his room is a mess.
  I can't get him to do anything.
" School chaos-"Homework takes forever.
  He's really smart but he hates school, so he's making bad grades.
  He says it's boring and the teacher is mean.
"  "These teacher conferences are taking more and more time from work.
  I hope I don't get fired.
"

• Impulsiveness-"He can't control his impulsiveness-bad attitude, talking back, lying, stealing, and hitting.
    It's automatic.
    He can't help it.
  "
• Noncompliance-"He doesn't listen to me until I scream, after telling him the tenth time.
  "
• Emotional overarousal-"His angry outbursts and explosive temper scare me.
  "
• No friends-"No one invites him to anything.
  "  (He has no social skills.
  )
• Ignorance-Don't understand ADHD/ODD-"I want to learn, but all of the literature says something different.
    I want the facts.
  "  (Keep reading.
  )
• No support system-"Nobody understands how hard this is.
    I'm doing this all alone.
    I'm tired of being blamed for being a bad parent.
    I have no life.
  "  (It is a lonely and thankless job, especially when things are getting worse.
  )
• Don't know how to cope with or change him-"I don't know what to do.
    I'm too exhausted from chasing after him all day and trying to take care of him.
  "  (We will help you learn what to do.
  )
• Don't know who the real experts are-"No one seems to know what to do to help him.
  "  (Many professionals do not know.
  )
• Financial constraint-"His medication is too expensive.
    The medical bills are breaking us.
  "  (This is why ADHD is called the "rich man's disorder.
  ")
•  Regret-"If I had known I was adopting a kid with ADHD, I would have stayed childless.
  "  (Please do not blame your child for the inconvenience of his mental disorders.
  )

You May Be Dealing with the Signs of ADHD or ODD  If you are saying these things, you may be dealing with the signs of ADHD or ODD in children.
It is very difficult to guess how to solve it.
However, with the right information and some simple tools and techniques, you can get life with your child closer to normal than you can probably imagine.