Most of us are never taught how to argue your point effectively so we can reach a productive outcome.
Often times we argue in a destructive manner and don't resolve our conflicts because of it.
Until you discover how to argue your point effectively you can cause significant damage to your relationships, both business and personal.
Here are some guidelines on how to argue your point.
1.
Keep the argument targeted on the specifics.
Always stick to the key points of the argument.
This is not the time to bring up past events or situations.
Stay in the present.
2.
Only discuss the facts of the present argument.
Be sure you understand the facts of the present dispute and only discuss those facts.
3.
Don't take the argument personally.
It is easy to let our emotions take over and let the argument get personal.
Focus on the facts and the main goal of the argument - that is to reach a resolution.
4.
Appreciate the fact that disagreements will happen and there may be more than one point of view.
Yours is not the only point of view.
If it was you wouldn't be having an argument.
Don't deny the other party there feelings or thoughts.
They are just as important as yours.
5.
Remain open and accepting of an opposing view.
Keep an open mind when engaged in an argument.
There will ultimately be view points that you don't agree with.
Again, it's not personal.
Everyone has a right to their own view.
Accept that and arguing will become much less stressful for all those involved.
6.
Be sure that you understand what the argument is about before engaging in the argument.
Don't get drawn into a heated debate until you have all the facts of the situation.
It is too easy to take a defensive posture when you don't have all the facts.
No one wants to be made a fool of.
When we are caught off guard we have a tendency to act like we know more than we do to save face.
It's better to listen to their side, ask questions and don't comment until you know the whole story.
7.
Always question a faulty premise.
If an argument or fact doesn't seem right don't be afraid to question it.
Don't accept it at face value just because the other person says it is so.
8.
Recognize how precise language can be.
Be careful of the words that you use.
Some words have a very specific meaning while others offer various interpretations.
You want to speak as precisely as you can to be sure your meaning is clear.
9.
Use affirmative statements when arguing, not passive.
Passive arguments are not convincing.
They make your point of view seem weaker and insignificant.
Passive statements cause you to appear less confident in your conviction for what you are arguing.
10.
Explain your thoughts and views clearly while staying focused on the present argument.
This is easiest to do if you remain calm, don't get frazzled.
Think before you speak.
Remember point #8 (how precise language can be).
Your point can be argued and accepted much easier when your thoughts are clearly expressed.
Keeping these 10 points in mind will allow you to argue your point most effectively and help you achieve much greater success in your relationships.