How can I get my child to stop an activity without her getting upset?
Question: How can I get my child to stop an activity without her getting upset?
My daughter is extremely intense and has an incredible attention span. The problem is that it is very difficult to get her to stop an activity without her screaming and crying. How can I help her quit and move to something else (like dinner or bedtime)without the tears and screaming?
Answer: Many gifted children hate abrupt changes.
It's one of the reasons that the constant shifting of subjects in school is intolerable for them. They become fully immersed in an activity and dislike interruptions. These kids need gradual change. Give your daughter warnings -- like a five minute warning, a three minute warning, a one minute warning. It doesn't have to be in terms of minutes. The idea is that they gradually get used to the idea that the activity they are engaged in is coming to an end. The more frequent interruptions helps them come out of the world they are in, so that when they have to quit the activity, it's not such a sudden shift. You could think of it as bringing someone out of an anesthetic!
You can work with your daughter to come up with the method to use. I used to use an egg timer to help my son and it was his idea to use it. When kids help make the decision, they are much more likely to follow the rule. It also helps them understand the purpose behind it and the need for it. But be forewarned: the system may not work the first time, but with consistent use, the kids usually get the idea.
My daughter is extremely intense and has an incredible attention span. The problem is that it is very difficult to get her to stop an activity without her screaming and crying. How can I help her quit and move to something else (like dinner or bedtime)without the tears and screaming?
Answer: Many gifted children hate abrupt changes.
It's one of the reasons that the constant shifting of subjects in school is intolerable for them. They become fully immersed in an activity and dislike interruptions. These kids need gradual change. Give your daughter warnings -- like a five minute warning, a three minute warning, a one minute warning. It doesn't have to be in terms of minutes. The idea is that they gradually get used to the idea that the activity they are engaged in is coming to an end. The more frequent interruptions helps them come out of the world they are in, so that when they have to quit the activity, it's not such a sudden shift. You could think of it as bringing someone out of an anesthetic!
You can work with your daughter to come up with the method to use. I used to use an egg timer to help my son and it was his idea to use it. When kids help make the decision, they are much more likely to follow the rule. It also helps them understand the purpose behind it and the need for it. But be forewarned: the system may not work the first time, but with consistent use, the kids usually get the idea.
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