All About Blaming
Blaming can be one of the usual things that a parent resorts to when the going gets rough.
This blaming can be against oneself or the kids.
When parents are in the midst of a huge trouble like divorce this can be understandable but this doesn't mean it's healthy for both the parent himself or the kids.
Most of the time this blaming happens when you are spending too much time or effort on blaming oneself or the kids for problems that are imaginary.
It's quite easy for parents to pass on the blame to their kids when they get to work late because the kids didn't prepare early for school.
Perhaps the most common statement that a parent can give to his kid is "It's your fault that I got late to work.
" This just doesn't work at all.
What could be the best statement to go would be, "It's your responsibility to keep yourself ready each time we have to go every morning.
" This would not sound so much like blaming but instead it is making him accountable for the act.
This would make him feel that he is mature enough to handle the responsibilities and to make him more accountable for his decisions and his actions.
Since kids are being made to feel that they are responsible for themselves, it makes them feel that they're like adults.
Remember that most of them would like to be the adults that they look up to.
They think it's that easy and cool to be so but in reality they still want to be led the way; they still want to have somebody to guide them in what to do, in where to go.
To blame one's self is not also healthy at all as it can be a sign of low self-esteem.
There is also no other better indication of weakness than this which is the thing you surely don't want your kids to see.
Your kids can easily take on what they can see in you.
That's why it is pertinent to pretend while you are around them, to protect them what appears to be too harsh for their not yet developed sense of morality and their limited understanding of life and experience.
Blaming most often than not also means not being able to acknowledge one's wrongdoings when what could be the best thing to do is to move on and learn lessons that you can apply once you find yourself in the same situation again.
The best thing you owe to yourself when you realized your mistake is to forgive yourself for what you have done and to move on and say to yourself, "You can do better than this whenever the same situation calls for it again.
"
This blaming can be against oneself or the kids.
When parents are in the midst of a huge trouble like divorce this can be understandable but this doesn't mean it's healthy for both the parent himself or the kids.
Most of the time this blaming happens when you are spending too much time or effort on blaming oneself or the kids for problems that are imaginary.
It's quite easy for parents to pass on the blame to their kids when they get to work late because the kids didn't prepare early for school.
Perhaps the most common statement that a parent can give to his kid is "It's your fault that I got late to work.
" This just doesn't work at all.
What could be the best statement to go would be, "It's your responsibility to keep yourself ready each time we have to go every morning.
" This would not sound so much like blaming but instead it is making him accountable for the act.
This would make him feel that he is mature enough to handle the responsibilities and to make him more accountable for his decisions and his actions.
Since kids are being made to feel that they are responsible for themselves, it makes them feel that they're like adults.
Remember that most of them would like to be the adults that they look up to.
They think it's that easy and cool to be so but in reality they still want to be led the way; they still want to have somebody to guide them in what to do, in where to go.
To blame one's self is not also healthy at all as it can be a sign of low self-esteem.
There is also no other better indication of weakness than this which is the thing you surely don't want your kids to see.
Your kids can easily take on what they can see in you.
That's why it is pertinent to pretend while you are around them, to protect them what appears to be too harsh for their not yet developed sense of morality and their limited understanding of life and experience.
Blaming most often than not also means not being able to acknowledge one's wrongdoings when what could be the best thing to do is to move on and learn lessons that you can apply once you find yourself in the same situation again.
The best thing you owe to yourself when you realized your mistake is to forgive yourself for what you have done and to move on and say to yourself, "You can do better than this whenever the same situation calls for it again.
"
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