Promotional Copy Writing - The Trouble With "If

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Promotional ad copy calls for a particular approach to writing that is unlike any other form of writing.
The ability of an ad to sell can come down to your choice of words in the final paragraph.
The biggest problem budding new ad copy writers face is overcoming the natural human tendency to want to hedge our bets.
It somehow feels easier and safer to say 'This product might save you money' rather than 'This product will save you money'.
Yet ad copy requires the elimination of doubt.
Sentences that contain weasel words such as can, could and might weaken copy by allowing the reader to entertain doubt.
One method of eliminating doubt is to remove weasel words, and emphasise our confidence.
For example...
This product WILL save you money
I'll go so far as to say that confidence is the number one requirement of promotional ad copy.
Anybody deliberately choosing words that emphasise confidence will automatically avoid weasel words.
Of course, some weasel words are harder to spot than others.
Consider the following examples...
  • If you're ready to say 'Yes' to $5,000, please click here
  • Are you ready to say 'Yes' to $5,000? Click here now...
  • Say 'Yes' to $5,000 - click here now
The first example leads with the word 'if'.
This word must be eliminated from your ad copy.
It's inclusion carries the subtle implication that you (the writer) isn't completely convinced the reader is sold.
In the example, the use of 'if' weakens the close.
What's more, the overly polite 'please' further robs the ad of power.
It's inclusion modifies the sentence, making it sound like the writer is pleading with the reader.
It conveys desperation, rather than confidence.
The second example replaces 'if' with 'are', boosting the power of the question.
In particular, the question is one that everybody in the target market is likely to answer with a resounding 'Yes'.
If a person is reading this type of sales copy, there's a pretty good chance s/he could use $5,000.
The elimination of 'Please' allows the instruction 'click here now' to immediately follow, which implies the writer is completely confident the reader has answered 'Yes'.
The third example does away with all pretence of giving the reader a choice.
It simply tells the reader what s/he must do to say 'Yes' to $5,000.
This is certainly positive, but will it outperform the 'Are you ready' question? It would be an interesting headline to test.
Your challenge is to locate every occurrence of the word 'if' in your promotional ad copy, and eliminate it.
This may mean rewriting the entire paragraph, perhaps even those above and below.
This is a good thing.
It will add confidence to your copy, remove weasel words, and help quash doubt in the mind of your reader.
Here are a couple more examples of sentences that include the word 'if', and their more powerful replacements...
  • If you like this widget, why not click the link and buy now? This widget is just what you're looking for, isn't it? Click here and get yours now
  • This might be right for you, if you like movies.
    Movie lovers - you must see this now
There is an exception to the rule.
The following examples demonstrates a use of 'if' that doesn't introduce doubt, and strengthens the copy...
  • If you're like me, you love ice cream
In this case, the 'if' is required as we don't want the reader to think we automatically assume s/he is like us.
Instead, we leave that decision with the reader.
We can do this, because the question helps to refine our target market.
In the above example, we're not interested in talking to people who don't love ice cream.
And those who do automatically and instantly identify with us.
Source...
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