Handy things: backup generators.
I remember a time when I was in the middle of building a house out in the country.
I didn't have the power connected so a generator would have been very useful.
Especially the day I invited a very nice young lady round for dinner.
I had an LPG stove so cooking was no problem and as for light well all I was going to need was candles.
But how about some seductive music? Since I didn't have a generator, I asked the guy who was going to install the electrical wiring whether he could lend me one.
He procured a near brand new beauty for me to use.
The night arrived.
Things were going well.
The log fire was roaring, dinner was a hit and the seductive music of Astrud Gilberto filled the room (well it was a while ago!) Any minute now I would make my move.
I was on fire! What could possibly go wrong? All of a sudden the music stopped and the low level lighting I had to augment the candles went out.
The generator had run out of fuel.
At this point a wise man would have lit a few more candles, got the guitar out and strummed a few gentle songs and made the most of the new subdued lighting.
Wisdom and I were not on speaking terms that night.
I excused myself and went outside to refuel the generator.
Now anyone in their right mind would not try to refuel a hot generator using a jerry can and no funnel.
I plead insanity.
In my haste to return to the hot girl and seductive music, that's just what I tried to do.
You can see where this is going! At this point in the story and in the long established tradition of a Hollywood movie, you know exactly what is going to happen next.
Yup! The fuel spilt on to the hot exhaust pipe and whammo.
The fuel tank is on fire, the fuel can is on fire, the generator is on fire, the grass is on fire but more by good luck than anything else, I am not.
I needed to get this fire under control so I rushed into the house, put some water in the bath and soaked a sheet.
To the consternation of the young lady, I took the soaking wet sheet outside and smothered the fire.
So there I was.
A ruined generator, someone else's ruined generator, seductive mood in ruins and my attempt at being a really cool guy in ruins.
The young lady commiserated with me, thanked me for a wonderful meal and went home.
She thought that I had more than enough problems to deal with.
I guess that means she was going to say 'no'.
I went to bed sure in the knowledge that things couldn't get any worse...
Or so I thought! Next day I told my electrician about my disaster.
That was when I found out that the generator didn't actually belong to him.
It belonged to his neighbour, who didn't know it had been loaned out because he was a trucker who was away on a trip.
Visions of a six foot four guy with tattoos, short temper and a baseball bat came to mind! Fortunately my fears weren't realised and in fact my luck improved.
The insurance paid out my claim without even looking at the damage and because the generator was a superseded model I managed pick up a new one for less than the insurance payout.
The owner got a brand new generator and I made a profit.
I didn't get the girl, however.
In fact I never saw her again! No sense of adventure!