I sometimes hear from people who tell me that they really do feel that they are ready to start dating after their divorce, but fear and hesitation is holding them back. Many of them are coming off of being with the same person for years and they just feel like they are rusty and out of practice when it comes to dating.

I completely understand that, but honestly, you're in a better position than you likely think. This is a time when you can reinvent yourself, set yourself up to get precisely what you want, and have some fun while gaining knowledge about yourself in the process. In the following article, I'll offer some tips and reassurances for folks who are getting into the online dating game after a divorce or long term relationship.

There Is Nothing Wrong With Online Dating. It's Very Socially Acceptable And Expected Today: I suppose there used to be a bit of a stigma with matchmaking or online dating sites. But with social media being the rule rather than the exception today, people are usually more surprised if you aren't dating online than if you are.

I know it's cliche to say that "everyone's doing it," but many people are. And, it's not just the young, twenty something singles that are on these sites. Folks of all ages, walks of life, and backgrounds are giving dating and meeting people online a try. I know that this is a time in your life when you're feeling particularly vulnerable and unsure of yourself. Many people tell me that they're afraid that they're going to create a profile and then not get any responses or only get responses from people that they would not want to date anyway.

This rarely turns out to be the case. The volume is so high on many of these sites that many people are quite surprised at the responses that they get and this can give you a real confidence boost when you are in the beginning phases after the divorce. Nothing says that you have to go at any pace other than what you are comfortable with. I lurked online and chatted with folks for months before I ever met anyone face to face. There is nothing wrong with taking things slowly while building up your confidence as you ease yourself into the process.

You Really Can Reinvent Yourself And Discard Those Things That No Longer Work For You: Many people just coming off a divorce have doubts about themselves. They feel badly that they couldn't make their marriage work and they fear that there's something wrong with them. In fact, in many instances their ex husband or wife has flat out told them that something was wrong with them.

So, they are coming into this process with the baggage and judgments of someone other than themselves. This can certainly be painful. But you do not have to accept this or carry this with you. You really can reinvent yourself and call your best attributes forward. You can be the person that you yourself know that you are or have always wanted to be.

The thing is, this really is your chance to start over. You can now look back at your marriage with a bit of distance to determine which things did not work for you and what you are unwilling to accept in a relationship today. One of the really beneficial things about online dating is that the sites give you a lot of tools to search for precisely who you want and for only those people who are well suited to you and who posses the attributes you most want and value.

There Are Countless People Who Can Identify With You. You Will Be In Good Company: I know that you feel or suspect that you're going to be the only person in your situation. You worry that every one else is going to be without baggage and light hearted and not going through what you are, but that's not usually the case. There are so many other recently divorced folks on there. Plus, there are people who won't hold your divorce against you even if this is not their experience.

You can't change your divorce. But you don't need to drag it around behind you like a tattered old blanket. And your recent circumstances do not need to dictate your future. It's quite possible to have a very good experience with online dating, even from the beginning. The real key is approaching it with the right attitude and an open mind, while having a firm handle on who you are and what you really want. And it really helps to start out with sites that are going to be best for you.

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