In these trying times it seems difficult to keep an even keel and always feel like you have a secure grip on things. In an effort to monitor myself, I have developed a self-administered home sanity test. I am passing it along to the masses so we can all test ourselves to makes sure some of our marbles haven't rolled behind the refrigerator. Sometimes I feel like the inmates are running the asylum and I need some kind of benchmark to check my reasoning. After many seconds of gut-wrenching indecision and numerous hours of pure genius, I have genetically engineered this test while eating a Whopper and it will be submitted for a Nobel Prize, if I can figure where you submit things for Nobel Prizes.

1) You must be insane if you think the Government is here to help you.

2) You must be insane if you think today's music is starting to sound good.

3) You must be insane if you think Keith Olbermann is the voice of reason.

4) You must be insane if you think a "reality show" is reality.

5) You must be insane if you believe any politician who says "I am completely innocent of all charges.". (His wife has already flunked this test if she's still with him.)

6) You must be insane if you think a policeman really means it when he says "Have a nice day!" after writing you a ticket.

7) You must be insane if THREE TRILLION DOLLARS sounds like a reasonable amount for a Government program. (What's the next unreal number, a GAZILLION?)

8) You must be insane if you think that you will actually be able to retire before the age of 125.

9) You must be insane if you think someone like Al Franken can get elected to the U.S. Senate. (Though the jury is still out on this one, it looks like half the state of Minnesota has the mental capacity of a golden gopher.)

10) You must be insane if you think the "ShamWow!" commercial is the best show on television.

Hey, wait a minute, it just might be the best thing on television.