So much in the world of adoption and foster care is focused on the children. After all, children are the center of attention in the process of either space. So, it only make sense that this is the focus 99% of the time we are discussing adoption and foster care. 

I would like to take a moment to shift your focus. I want to challenge your thinking in these two areas. Successful adoption and/or foster care requires something greater than focusing on a child or a group of children.

In fact, if that is your only focus, success is nothing more than a high risk game of roulette. Chances are there will be struggle that is not necessary in the process. After spending time with some of the top experts in child welfare and development, I want to share what I have learned. 

So where should your focus be? The Family.

The cornerstone of truly helping kids in the process of adoption or foster care happens to be a healthy family atmosphere. Whether it is a single parent home, or a home with both parents, a healthy family atmosphere is crucial to truly being able to help children walk through the realities of adoption and foster care. 

Children will only be as healthy as the family in which they are placed. The transitions will be much easier for the children. The struggles, which are inevitable in the world of adoption and foster care, will be much easier to handle in a healthy environment. You simply cannot place enough value on the power of a healthy family to truly be able to help children.

 

Children do not simply need a bed, a home or a group of people to join. Children need a family. A place of security, refuge and rest. They need a place to feel safe and stable. Children need a support group who has the resources emotionally, physically and circumstantially to help them thrive. 

Here are some tips to help create and foster a healthy family environment:

• Seek wise counsel and training for the whole family, not just one person in your home.
  • Involve your spouse or partner, involve your kids.
• Surround yourself with a network of support.
  • Have people you can express your frustration to during the struggles.
  • Have a group of people who can help with meals or small extras when needed.
  • Have a group who are in a similar place in life, other adoptive or foster families. No one can fully understand what you are experiencing besides those who have already had the experience. 
• Don't hesitate to ask for help.
  • Never be ashamed to admit you don't have all the answers.
  • Connect with a good social worker, counselor or network of families.
• Do not try to be a super hero! Admit when you are struggling and be human!
  • Don't keep your emotions hidden. Find an outlet.
• Find time for your whole family to share their struggles.
  • create an atmosphere of honesty and transparency. 
• Celebrate even the smallest victories as a family.
• Create time to have fun.
  • Play Games.
  • Plan Trips.
  • Find time to relax and unplug together.

The goal is to be part of creating healthy kids. Healthy kids are the product of healthy families. There are a million more things that could be added to the list above.

Bottom line, I believe that if we are going to truly serve the kids impacted by adoption and foster care we need to shift our focus. It is very important that our focus is on the whole family and not just the children.

What pointers do you have for a healthy family?