What to Do When Kids Nag
I'm sure I am not the only mum in the world who has to deal with nagging from my child.
It is quite normal to have kids that nag.
However it's what we do with the nagging that is important.
I was chatting to a mother just this week who was telling me that her daughter wanted to go to a fancy dress party as Tinkerbell.
The mother didn't have anything in her house remotely appropriate for the occasion.
But the daughter wasn't happy with that outcome and proceeded to do a song and dance about how she just had to go as Tinkerbell.
The girl went on to say that if she didn't go as Tinkerbell, she would be the only girl at the party that wasn't dressed up.
Huh? How does someone draw that conclusion? I would say by faulty logic.
This girl has learned the art of manipulating her mother big time.
She knows that if she keeps on whingeing, eventually she will get her way.
She always has and she always will as long as mum continues to do what she has always done.
Now here's the thing: kids are not stupid.
If they know that they can get results by doing a certain thing (ie.
nagging), they will keep on doing that behavior until such a time as we stop our response and change it.
Get the idea? This kid is not really being naughty; she is being clever.
She has learned how to manipulate people and actually should be congratulated for being smart and figuring it out.
Wouldn't you do the same thing if you knew that you could get away with it? Please understand what I am trying to say here.
A child will respond in the way that the parent trains it to respond.
And when we give in to our kids about something we are sending them a message.
Once we give in to them once, they will try the same thing again, and again, and again...
and it is actually our fault.
We are making a rod for our own backs when we are inconsistent.
So beware! You might like to make an exception about something once but with that you will bring trouble on yourself.
When you intend to do so, you need to discuss with them in advance so the child knows why you are doing it, and understands that the exception is NOT related to their behavior of whinging, moaning, crying or tantrums.
Conclusion: whingers get nothing.
That's the motto at my house.
I say it to my daughter often.
Whenever my daughter starts moaning I say to her, "Becky, what do whingers get?" She responds by saying "nothing" and most times the whingeing stops.
It is quite normal to have kids that nag.
However it's what we do with the nagging that is important.
I was chatting to a mother just this week who was telling me that her daughter wanted to go to a fancy dress party as Tinkerbell.
The mother didn't have anything in her house remotely appropriate for the occasion.
But the daughter wasn't happy with that outcome and proceeded to do a song and dance about how she just had to go as Tinkerbell.
The girl went on to say that if she didn't go as Tinkerbell, she would be the only girl at the party that wasn't dressed up.
Huh? How does someone draw that conclusion? I would say by faulty logic.
This girl has learned the art of manipulating her mother big time.
She knows that if she keeps on whingeing, eventually she will get her way.
She always has and she always will as long as mum continues to do what she has always done.
Now here's the thing: kids are not stupid.
If they know that they can get results by doing a certain thing (ie.
nagging), they will keep on doing that behavior until such a time as we stop our response and change it.
Get the idea? This kid is not really being naughty; she is being clever.
She has learned how to manipulate people and actually should be congratulated for being smart and figuring it out.
Wouldn't you do the same thing if you knew that you could get away with it? Please understand what I am trying to say here.
A child will respond in the way that the parent trains it to respond.
And when we give in to our kids about something we are sending them a message.
Once we give in to them once, they will try the same thing again, and again, and again...
and it is actually our fault.
We are making a rod for our own backs when we are inconsistent.
So beware! You might like to make an exception about something once but with that you will bring trouble on yourself.
When you intend to do so, you need to discuss with them in advance so the child knows why you are doing it, and understands that the exception is NOT related to their behavior of whinging, moaning, crying or tantrums.
Conclusion: whingers get nothing.
That's the motto at my house.
I say it to my daughter often.
Whenever my daughter starts moaning I say to her, "Becky, what do whingers get?" She responds by saying "nothing" and most times the whingeing stops.
Source...