How Much Time with Friends Is Enough?
The Question from Npjen:
"My daughter is 14, in 8th grade. Suddenly this year, she is consumed by having friends. She'll be on the phone with one, on IM with 5 others... all the time! I want to be fair but I'm having trouble deciding how much time is enough. Any thoughts?"
Denise's thoughts:
This is a very good question that is often asked when teens start hanging out with their friends more. It does seem to most parents like it happened overnight.
We don't tend to catch on until it's full-blown and looks like it may be becoming a problem. But that's okay. As parents we are allowed to back track and set up limits on privileges at any time. We are even allowed to change our minds.
Talk to your daughter and share your concerns. Set up a way that she can have all the time she wants, simply by taking care of her responsibilities first. Help her list the responsibilities that are important and have her check-in with you when they are completed. As long as she has met her responsibilities, you can give her all the time she needs ? and feel good about it!
The Answers from the Parenting of Adolescents Forum:
From Epictetus1: It only becomes a problem when it becomes a problem. Is she falling behind with her homework? Is she not helping out around the house? Is she staying up too late? Is she tying up the phone line so that others can't use it? Is she letting her other hobbies and activities slip? If her socializing is creating problems for herself or the family, then put a limit on it.
If it's not creating problems, why make waves? Remember the adage: choose your battles.
Read more about this thread here: General Parenting Advice - How much time with friends is enough?
"My daughter is 14, in 8th grade. Suddenly this year, she is consumed by having friends. She'll be on the phone with one, on IM with 5 others... all the time! I want to be fair but I'm having trouble deciding how much time is enough. Any thoughts?"
Denise's thoughts:
This is a very good question that is often asked when teens start hanging out with their friends more. It does seem to most parents like it happened overnight.
We don't tend to catch on until it's full-blown and looks like it may be becoming a problem. But that's okay. As parents we are allowed to back track and set up limits on privileges at any time. We are even allowed to change our minds.
Talk to your daughter and share your concerns. Set up a way that she can have all the time she wants, simply by taking care of her responsibilities first. Help her list the responsibilities that are important and have her check-in with you when they are completed. As long as she has met her responsibilities, you can give her all the time she needs ? and feel good about it!
The Answers from the Parenting of Adolescents Forum:
From Epictetus1: It only becomes a problem when it becomes a problem. Is she falling behind with her homework? Is she not helping out around the house? Is she staying up too late? Is she tying up the phone line so that others can't use it? Is she letting her other hobbies and activities slip? If her socializing is creating problems for herself or the family, then put a limit on it.
If it's not creating problems, why make waves? Remember the adage: choose your battles.
Read more about this thread here: General Parenting Advice - How much time with friends is enough?
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