While talking with friends can certainly provide you with emotional benefits, there might come a time when you need professional help. For example, if you have any thoughts of causing harm to yourself or others, you need to seek out a professional immediately. There is absolutely no shame in seeking out a therapist to help you out with your emotional issues. In fact, it’s a healthy step to maintaining good mental health.

Many people also reach out to friends to get sympathy for the average things that can irritate you or bring you down. Oprah Winfrey has credited her daily phone calls with best friend Gayle King with keeping her out of professional therapy. While friends are a good source of sympathy and strength, there are pros and cons to sharing too much of your emotional troubles with them.

Con: Friends Aren’t Trained Professionals

Perhaps the biggest reason you should seek out professional counseling is that friends won’t always know how to react to your revelations. They’ll try and be supportive, but without having gone through certain things themselves, they won’t help you get out of your bad habits and negative feelings like a trained therapist could.

Part of the reason you share your frustrations and experiences with people is to move forward emotionally, so if a friend can’t help you do that, a therapist might be a better option.

Pro: Friends Are Available In an Instant

Sometimes you just need to talk to somebody now, without scheduling an appointment.

A friend can (and should) be just a phone call away. This can be especially helpful if you need a shoulder to cry on. It’s the times that your friends aren’t available and you need to talk to someone that can make you feel most lonely and that you need more friends even when you probably have enough already. People’s busy lives can make us feel very isolated at times.

So if you’ve got a friend who answers his or her calls and just listens with a sympathetic ear, hang on to them.

Con: Not Every Friend Wants to Be That Close

Some folks enjoy getting to know people and want to be best buds. They want to share personal details of their life, their frustrations and joys, and hope that their friends do the same. But other people don’t want that in a friendship, and when a friend is too emotionally clingy it can end a friendship.

It doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t want to be your friend, but not everyone can handle the same level of emotional closeness. There could be a variety of reasons for this. The thing to keep in mind is that if someone reacts badly when you share your vulnerable moments, then you just need to move on and learn to share little by little with someone else. Don’t force the issue.

This is also true of new friendships. Perhaps you just met someone who you click with and now you want to pour out your heart. You still need to wait and go slowly because the bond hasn’t been created yet to support your emotional outpouring. That doesn’t mean that somewhere down the road you won’t be able to do share your experiences, but only that you need to wait until you are sure your friendship is rock solid.

Pro: Some Friends Will Appreciate Your Candor

Not everyone is turned off by emotional displays and sharing, so if you’ve got a friend that you are sure enjoys listening and being supportive, then by all means use them to regain your emotional footing. For some friends, it is an honor when someone trusts them enough to share their pain with them.

Con: Your Friend Might Feel Used

Even if your friend is open to you talking to them, be cautious not to make it all about you. Selfish friends use up people by dumping their emotions on them without allowing their friend to do the same. Friendship is about give and take, not about one friend always making the other feel better.

If you feel like you’ve been taking up too much of the conversation on yourself, step back and reassure your friend. Ask them more questions about them, and listen intently. Be available for them. Let them know that you’re willing to be a true friend to them and not someone who is using them for your own purpose.