How to Fix a Friendship With a Stubborn Person
- 1). Remember the good. Stubborn people are often opinionated, loyal and strong-willed. Odds are good that some of these character traits--closely related to your friend's stubbornness--are among the qualities you appreciate most about her. Remind yourself of the times that your friend's stubbornness has been a positive force in your life, like when she refused to give up on finding great concert tickets or refused to allow you to give up when you were in the hospital.
- 2). Analyze the reason behind your friend's stubbornness. This is especially important if one particular area of stubbornness is driving a wedge between you and your friend, like if you can't agree on politics or where you're going to go on a vacation together. If you have no idea why your friend is so stuck on one issue, ask. Talking through it and even just showing a willingness to hear her opinion can go a long way. Try not to get bogged down by the actual issue; instead, focus on emotional or practical reasons for her thought process.
- 3). Ask for forgiveness. This can be difficult because it's easy to feel as if the problems you're experiencing are totally related to your friend's stubbornness. But think about it--maybe she thinks you're the one being stubborn. Tell your friend you're sorry if you've offended her and that you don't think the issue is important enough to ruin your friendship.
- 4). Express your frustrations honestly. Don't just bottle it up, once you've apologized. Be clear with your friend about how her actions are bothering you or just driving you crazy. Maybe she doesn't even know that what she's doing is a problem for you. Be polite and reasonable, not emotional or irrational. If your friend values your friendship, she'll work on being more aware of your needs, although it's not reasonable to expect her to totally change who she is just to make you happy.
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