I have contemplated becoming a highly paid sports star, but when I see all that's happening to them in their personal lives, well, no way for me.
If I were to become, say a really rich NFL quarterback or very successful PGA golfer, I would risk being exposed to a lifestyle that would insure my downfall.
I would become the talk of the Web in story after story about my evil ways.
I can not risk that.
I am a family man, after all.
To put my wife and son through all the stress of being under the microscope examining every little transgression of mine would be torturous.
I will not sacrifice our happy little home just to be a legend.
No sir.
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall" is not for me.
Take your big cash and give it to somebody else.
Even though I'm pushing 60, I know I could still start and prosper as a pro athlete, but I'm not taking the bait.
If any NFL team or the PGA were to call, I would have to immediately decline any and all offers.
Sure, I'd be grateful and gracious about it, but I can't risk having my name attached to lurid scandals.
It's just not who I am.
Why, you look around at the news these days, and it's like it's becoming a rite of passage for the top-shelf pro athlete.
The bigger your contract and acclaim, the better your chances become to be sucked into the dark side.
I can not, and will not allow myself to be attractive to every beautiful woman that comes down the pike.
Sure, I'd be very appreciative, but I am too resolute in my beliefs to fall for any of that nonsense.
So, color me a poor working sot not interested in the sports highlife.