"You what? Work with your husband? And you work out of your house? Are you serious?!" I've been asked these questions countless times over the past 3½ years since my husband, Ken, and I started our designer kids clothes business.
These questions are almost always followed (once the asker has been able to close their mouth from the incredulity of the idea) with the statement, "My husband and I could NEVER be in business together.
It just wouldn't work.
And neither would our marriage.
" Sometimes I'm even surprised myself at how Ken and I have been able to work together and that our marriage seems to be stronger because of it.
But, it definitely hasn't been easy.
No sir-ee.
Working with your spouse on a new business introduces all kinds of additional financial pressures and responsibilities on top of those that already exist with maintaining a household and raising children.
It takes a lot of time, money and work to get a new business going -- and even more to keep it going.
The hardest part of working together inside the house has been separating work and personal life.
The lines are always blurred.
And although I think we both do a pretty good job of keeping that work vs.
family line in focus, there's always room for improvement.
The challenge comes in because there is never a natural end to the work day as most of the work is being done literally out of our house.
And as owners of a new, entrepreneurial business, there is always more to do than the two of us can physically accomplish.
So, it's often a conscious, planned effort to pull away and focus on our kids, our outside interests and even ourselves.
So, just how do we make it work? What advice would I give to other couples looking to work together? • First and probably foremost, if you don't have a strong relationship and/or don't truly enjoy being with each other, don't go into business together.
The issues and stresses of running a business together are often too much for a marriage/relationship to handle.
That said, if you do have a stable base upon which to build, the combined focus and connection you share for the business can actually increase your bond.
• Time management is critical.
But, try to be respectful of what's important (both personally and professionally) to your spouse.
What's significant to you may be very different than what's significant to him/her.
• In addition to being committed to each other, make sure you are both equally committed to the business.
In other words, you both REALLY have to believe in it and be prepared to share the workload.
Equally.
That includes housework and homework.
• Do your best to separate business and personal life when you can.
Both are very important and need dedicated time -- particularly if you have kids.
It may help to "schedule" personal time if you never seem to be able to get around to taking time off.
And definitely don't forget those date nights! • Remember that you are "co-workers" (at least during office hours) and it's not always appropriate to treat each other as significant others -- particularly if you have other employees working with you.
I'm referring to personal displays of affection as well as personal jabs or insults that don't have a place in a work context.
• When things get tough (and they will) try to remind each other of what you have been able to accomplish as opposed to all that still needs to be done.
Being supportive means being there for each other.
Everyone can't operate at 110% all of the time, so help to gather each other's "slack.
" Admittedly, working with your husband or wife is not a typical scenario.
And working alongside each other out of your home makes the situation even more unusual.
So, even if you follow the tips above, a shared working/home scenario is not always a smooth reality.
But I've never been one to shun hard work or take the easy way out.
Things that come easily aren't as meaningful as those that require effort.
And I plan to keep reminding myself of that over every bump we hit on our uphill climb -- but not, of course, during date night.