The Five Funniest Books
Deciding whether one book is funnier than another is, of course, a completely subjective judgement.
I'm aware that no two people have same taste and that anyone - myself included - could easily come up with a list of five other books that are equally funny.
But this is the definitive list, and it is correct.
Unreliable Memoirs - Clive James James' stories of growing up in Australia.
Everyone used to tell me how funny this was but I refused to read because I thought I'd be disappointed.
Believe the hype.
Best bit: James and a couple of schoolfriends are watching a couple get it on in the long grass when one of his friends decides to fire a home made bow and arrow: 'It would have been bad enough if the man had stood up with one hand holding the arrow and the other holding his behind.
Unfortunately it was the woman.
' Catch 22 - Joseph Heller World War II madness.
Pretty much everyone in the world has this on their favourite books list and they're all right.
Best bit: Milo Minderbinder (of the US airforce) has agreed a contract with the Germans to bomb his own base.
'Milo, this is Alvin Brown.
I've finished dropping my bombs.
What should I do now?' 'Strafe,' said Milo.
'Strafe?' Alvin Brown was shocked.
'We have no choice,' Milo informed him resignedly.
'It's in the contract.
' 'Oh, ok, then,' Alvin Brown acquiesced.
'In that case I'll strafe.
' England, Their England - Archie Macdonell A Scotsman is commissioned to right a book about the English.
He researches his subject by hanging with the 1920s upper classes - probably the funniest of the lot.
Best bit: The hero Donald Cameron is invited to play cricket alongside the famous Boone, a Cambridge Blue at cricket.
'Off his first ball the massive Cambridge Blue was easily stumped, having executed a movement that aroused the professional admiration of the Ancient who was leaning upon his scythe.
'Donald was puzzled that so famous a player should play so execrable a shot until it transpired that a wrong impression had been created and that the famous Boone had gained his Blue at Cambridge for rowing and not for cricket.
' Adolf Hitler, My Part In His Downfall - Spike Milligan The first of Milligan's epic war memoirs.
Not the best of the series, but the funniest.
Best bit: 'How it all began.
' 'The last minutes of peace ticking away.
Father and I were watching mother dig our aid raid shelter.
"She's a great little woman," he said.
"And getting all the time," I added.
Two minutes later a man called Neville Chamberlain who did Prime Minister impressions spoke on the wireless; he said, "As of eleven o'clock we are at war with Germany.
" (I loved the WE).
' Bear V.
Shark - Chris Bachelder America becomes obsessed with a fight between a bear and a shark in a fantastic satire of modern media.
Best bit: The book's premise tells you all you need to know...
'Given a relatively level playing field - i.
e.
water deep enough so that a Shark could manoeuvre proficiently, but shallow enough so that a Bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity - who would win a fight between a Bear and a Shark?'
I'm aware that no two people have same taste and that anyone - myself included - could easily come up with a list of five other books that are equally funny.
But this is the definitive list, and it is correct.
Unreliable Memoirs - Clive James James' stories of growing up in Australia.
Everyone used to tell me how funny this was but I refused to read because I thought I'd be disappointed.
Believe the hype.
Best bit: James and a couple of schoolfriends are watching a couple get it on in the long grass when one of his friends decides to fire a home made bow and arrow: 'It would have been bad enough if the man had stood up with one hand holding the arrow and the other holding his behind.
Unfortunately it was the woman.
' Catch 22 - Joseph Heller World War II madness.
Pretty much everyone in the world has this on their favourite books list and they're all right.
Best bit: Milo Minderbinder (of the US airforce) has agreed a contract with the Germans to bomb his own base.
'Milo, this is Alvin Brown.
I've finished dropping my bombs.
What should I do now?' 'Strafe,' said Milo.
'Strafe?' Alvin Brown was shocked.
'We have no choice,' Milo informed him resignedly.
'It's in the contract.
' 'Oh, ok, then,' Alvin Brown acquiesced.
'In that case I'll strafe.
' England, Their England - Archie Macdonell A Scotsman is commissioned to right a book about the English.
He researches his subject by hanging with the 1920s upper classes - probably the funniest of the lot.
Best bit: The hero Donald Cameron is invited to play cricket alongside the famous Boone, a Cambridge Blue at cricket.
'Off his first ball the massive Cambridge Blue was easily stumped, having executed a movement that aroused the professional admiration of the Ancient who was leaning upon his scythe.
'Donald was puzzled that so famous a player should play so execrable a shot until it transpired that a wrong impression had been created and that the famous Boone had gained his Blue at Cambridge for rowing and not for cricket.
' Adolf Hitler, My Part In His Downfall - Spike Milligan The first of Milligan's epic war memoirs.
Not the best of the series, but the funniest.
Best bit: 'How it all began.
' 'The last minutes of peace ticking away.
Father and I were watching mother dig our aid raid shelter.
"She's a great little woman," he said.
"And getting all the time," I added.
Two minutes later a man called Neville Chamberlain who did Prime Minister impressions spoke on the wireless; he said, "As of eleven o'clock we are at war with Germany.
" (I loved the WE).
' Bear V.
Shark - Chris Bachelder America becomes obsessed with a fight between a bear and a shark in a fantastic satire of modern media.
Best bit: The book's premise tells you all you need to know...
'Given a relatively level playing field - i.
e.
water deep enough so that a Shark could manoeuvre proficiently, but shallow enough so that a Bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity - who would win a fight between a Bear and a Shark?'
Source...