When Bill's dad developed dementia -- due to vascular problems, his doctor said -- he gradually became confused about where he was and what year it was.
At first, Bill thought it was just the way that dementia was.
As time went by, Bill's dad almost seemed to live in different times zone altogether.
One morning, Bill's dad came into Bill's bedroom.
Ignoring Bill's wife, he shook his son by the shoulder.
"Come on!" he insisted, "Get up, get up now!" "Jeez, Dad," Bill spluttered.
"What's going on?" "Come on, you'll be late for school.
" Bill's Dad thought Bill was still in high school.
Not even the presence of Bill's wife in the bed and, for that matter, Bill's beard and mustache, seemed to signal otherwise.
And that's what happens with the time zone thing.
People with Alzheimer's and other dementias often visit other times they once lived in.
Once in them, the time zone is just as it was, long ago.
The right people are there who used to be.
The right setting is there.
The right routine.
I began to ask myself what was going on.
If it was due to dementia alone, then it should have been as disorganized as dementia was.
But it wasn't like that.
Typically, they go to childhood times with parents, back home in he past.
Sometimes trauma calls a person back.
Once, as a staff trainer in a 54-bed Alzheimer's unit, a closet door opened, a bony hand reached out and grabbed my arm and I just about had a heart attack.
"Is my Daddy out there?" whispered Margaret, peeping out.
"He's going to hit me.
He hurt Mama.
" I put my arm around her as I thought, "To be 87 and still being abused by your dead alcoholic father!" I felt sorry for Margaret then.
Now I understand that people with dementia visit other time zones to complete the work of heart that needs dealing with.
Most caregivers think they must pull people back out of that long-ago time zone.
Impossible.
When they're ready, they'll do it.
Instead, you go visit them.
Sit, listen.
chat, observe.
You'll learn a lot about your family member when you visit them in their own past.
You'll meet long-ago family members.
In fact, you'll probably be called by the name of one of them Certainly your own name won't mean a thing.
Because you didn't exist then.
The time zone visits are for seeking happiness, release, resolution and peace.
They are for healing.
How does someone with dementia walk across time? To me, it tells how we are never lost to the ways in which emotional healing can always come about.
Don't believe me.
As a dementia caregiver, you can explore this for yourself.
Do your own research.
Draw your own conclusions.
Have fun on those trips.
They can be inconvenient, yes.
But you do know you're not in Kansas any more.
Unless it's Kansas 1927.