Why is my teen shutting me out? Adolescence is a time when teenagers start relying less on parental authority and relying more on their own independence.
They see themselves as adults even though they actually still need parental guidance.
This desire for independence leads teens into thinking that they are self-sufficient.
They may still be living under mom and dad's roof, but they see themselves as capable of making their own decisions without parental input.
This is one of the reasons that teens are more apt to keep things to themselves.
They may see going to their parents for help as a sign of weakness or immaturity.
Solving their problems on their own makes them feel more like adults than teenagers.
They see no need to go to their parents when they believe they can handle problems on their own.
Another reason that teenagers become less communicative is because they are testing their boundaries.
They want to see how far they can push the limits before mom and dad start to reel them back in.
It is your job as a parent to set limits and make sure your teen knows when he steps out of line.
Define clear consequences for overstepping boundaries so that your teen knows what he is getting himself into before they commit the offense.
For example, if you tell your teen to be in by 11:00, don't just leave it at that.
Say they must be in by 11:00 or they will not be allowed out this weekend.
Every time he misses curfew the consequence should be the same.
This way, the punishment cannot be viewed as unjust since you gave your child fair warning about what would happen if he acted in a certain way.
The things that your teenager is hiding from you are usually things that would get him in trouble if you found out.
This is why it is important for you to ask questions.
Snooping around behind your child's back to find out what he is doing is not going to gain his trust.
In order to get honest answers you have to ask honest questions.
Obviously, this will not work every time.
If your teen is trying to hide something from you, he is not going to simply volunteer the information you are asking for.
However, if you always ask questions like where he is going, who he is going with and when he will be home, it is easier to keep track of inconsistencies in his story.
You know your child.
You know when they are lying.
It is difficult to find the balance between nagging and caring, and often times your teenager will not see the distinction between the two, but it is absolutely necessary for you to know what your child is doing.
It does not hurt to give them a little bit of independence as long as both you and your child remember who the parent is.
Though they may not ask for it, teenagers still occasionally need parental authority.
Keep in mind that you have been in their position before without constantly reminding them of it.
Let them know that they can come to you with anything, even if they think it will get them in trouble.
It is better to know if your teenager is doing something wrong and then remedy the situation than it is to have no idea of what they are up to.
It may require a lot of patience on your part, but in the end it will build a solid relationship with your teenager.