While moms with sons may barely give a thought to their boys developing eating disorders or anorexia as compared to moms with daughters, boys and girls feel similar pressures to conform to specific body images. As mothers, we may be focused on health and wellness, but our sons are inundated with images of ideal bodies, weight concerns and sex.
In fact, from a very young age, children are taught that looks matter.

With kids watching more television than ever before, their idea of what “normal” is may not be accurate. When the media depicts of overweight males, they tend to associate these images with negative stereotypes such as laziness or inability to attract women, while the “ideal” muscular and lean body is associated with success. And there's the flood of diet advertisements selling anything and everything to lose weight and improve muscles.

Do Boys Care?

In addition to media influence, how does a mother's focus on battling the bulge contribute to her son’s self image? Dara Chadwick, author of the book You'd Be So Pretty If..., says girls formulate their body images relative to how their mothers feel about their own bodies. But what about boys? If a woman raising a boy is a yo-yo dieter or overly concerned about losing weight, what impact does this have on her son? Do boys care? Do they even notice at all?
In My Mother, My Mirror, author and therapist Laura Arens Fuerstein focuses a mother’s influence over their daughters but makes a point of mentioning that both girls and boys need to feel that their mothers are powerful so that they can feel secure.

As a result, what mom says becomes extremely important; she functions as a mirror reflecting back her child’s sense of self.

The Influential Years

Psychologists who have studied this process say the influence of the mother is greatest in the years before puberty. We know that children learn by imitating what they see. Since a child is closest to a parent, what a parent does to model behaviors has a big influence on a child. A parent’s unresolved body image or negative attitudes towards eating and weight are passed from one generation to the next. While the cycle has a tendency to continue, it can be prevented if the parent with issues works to prevent their child from falling into the same trap.

What a Child Notices

How do we know when a normal concern (or focus) evolves into an obsession and becomes a problem? There is a fine line between normal and unhealthy eating habits. The determining factor lies in the purpose of why someone eats. Behaviors fall into the category of pathology when a person eats to serve emotions rather than appetite, or is unable to choose his actions freely. Genetics reportedly play a role in eating disorders. The parents are not the reason for causing their child’s eating disorder, but their influence can contribute to triggering a child’s genetic predisposition toward developing disease.
It’s important to remember that if a parent suffers from an eating disorder and chooses to keep it hidden and not seek medical assistance; a child is likely to still learn the parent’s actions. A child notices skipped meals, an interest in calorie counting, or the fat-free or light foods in the house. When a child sees that a parent is always on a diet or isn’t happy with how she looks, a child experiences anxiety and stress and doesn’t learn how to practice open communication.

Family Meals and Self-Control

Compound that with the fact that today fewer families share family meals than ever before. Children are more isolated and disconnected from parents and siblings because the prevalence of fast food, separate meal times, eating on the go and eating while watching television. All these behaviors inhibit the socialization that typically occurs when families eat together. As a result, children may wind up experiencing depression, especially when a parent suffers from an eating disorder. If a parent is unable to establish her own self-control, she may have a difficult time setting external controls for her son or daughter. As a result, a child who cannot self-regulate is more likely to develop an eating disorder of his own. When parents try to control their children’s food intake by insisting that their children clean their plate, boys are more likely to request larger portions. This interferes with a child’s ability to listen to his body and can affect his relationship with food.

Anorexia - Not Just For Girls

Studies published over the last few years suggest that males account for up to 25% of anorexia cases. In fact, it’s estimated that as many as 1 million American men have an eating disorder. But because of the perception that it’s a female problem, many of them don’t seek help. This is not a disease that only affects girls. Eating disorders are about more than just about food. They're also about self image. Sufferers have very low self-esteem.
Boys diagnosed with anorexia may seek zero body fat as compared to their female counterparts who want to be thin. The syndicated TV show Dr. Phil tackled the subject of Body-Obsessed Boys in an episode originally broadcast January 8, 2009. On the show, 15-year-old Eric and 22-year-old Troy discussed their struggles battling eating disorders, bringing an issue that receives little media attention to a larger audience.

Setting a Healthy Example

A mother’s influence can certainly have far-reaching affects on her sons even into adulthood. For this reason, it's important for mothers to pay close attention to the examples they set and the comments they make -- as well as resolve any personal issues with food and self-image -- so that their children will have a better chance a life free from eating disorders and body image issues.