5 Things To Look For In A Partner And A Relationship
1.
Love We all deserve to be loved and we all thrive immensely on feeling loved and being able to love others.
However, defining love and getting the amount of love that we want, and in the way we want, is a lot easier said than done! Although love is a feeling, we can have many past experiences and thoughts about love that makes it difficult to see clear on this complicated matter.
What is clear, is that men and women most often have a different perception of love, and the way we demonstrate love can be very different from person to person.
Some people express love mainly through words, while others prefer to show their love through their actions.
Whatever your love language is, be sure to communicate it to your loved one so that you can avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary hurt feelings.
2.
Respect Respect is a very sensitive subject, and the notion of respect is frequently the culprit of many misunderstandings and heated arguments in relationships.
It's therefore vital to remember, that people often have very different opinions about what is proper respect, especially if they are from a different cultural background.
In other words, what you perceive to be disrespectful may be totally normal in the opinion of another and so someone's actions may not necessarily be a sign of a lack of respect even if you happen to feel disrespected.
However, there are a number of behaviors that universally should NEVER be mistaken for being in any way respectful.
These include; violent behavior; emotional abuse; constant lying; betrayal; and malicious manipulation.
If you find these behaviors in your partner and in your relationship, it is time to consider whether you want to spend your time and energy on fixing these die-hard habits, or if you are perhaps better off getting away from them while your self-esteem is still intact.
3.
Intimacy Intimacy implies closeness, togetherness, affection, warmth and sexual connection.
Whether we are talking about verbal or physical communication, it is important to have a level of intimacy that you are comfortable with and that promotes feelings of being heard, loved and respected.
You should not feel pushed or coerced into overstepping your own boundaries when it comes to intimacy.
Communication is key when it comes to finding a level of intimacy that you can both be satisfied with.
4.
Trust Without an air of trust in a relationship, feelings of love, respect and intimacy will gradually suffocate.
Ideally, and for your own peace of mind, trust is best when initially given unconditionally, and a feeling of mistrust toward the other should first be earned.
In other words, innocent until proven guilty! To maintain a healthy level of trust in the relationship, you and your partner must both be reliable, open, honest, supportive and trustworthy in your communication and in your actions with each-other at least 95% of the time.
If you know, that you can trust your partner when you reveal your weaknesses, fears, hopes and dreams without this information being ignored, laughed at, shared with others or used against you in later arguments, you can rest assured that you have a good supportive friend that you can trust as well as a lover.
A person who is not trustworthy will soon enough show his or hers true colors by not paying attention to what you say, by not showing up on agreed times, by making constant excuses for poor behavior, by lying, by acting defensive without an apparent cause, by having a confusing and indirect communication, and by giving mixed signals over and over again.
However, do in keep in mind, that if you find yourself having constant trust issues with the people around you, the problem may just as well be coming from within yourself.
5.
Common interests When it comes to common interests, you do clearly not have to share all of them with a potential partner.
However, without a good amount of shared interests, values, beliefs, etc.
, you will easily get bored or irritated, and you will not have much to talk about nor will you have many things you can do together after the first exhilarating romance have calmed down.
Opposites may attract but not for long! Important common interests that are worth considering before investing in a long-term relationship include: children (having or not, type of education, discipline, etc), where and how to live, how to spend your free time (travel, sports, hobbies, etc), personality (extrovert vs introvert), religious beliefs (can they find common ground), cultural background (can it work), level of education and political views.
Love We all deserve to be loved and we all thrive immensely on feeling loved and being able to love others.
However, defining love and getting the amount of love that we want, and in the way we want, is a lot easier said than done! Although love is a feeling, we can have many past experiences and thoughts about love that makes it difficult to see clear on this complicated matter.
What is clear, is that men and women most often have a different perception of love, and the way we demonstrate love can be very different from person to person.
Some people express love mainly through words, while others prefer to show their love through their actions.
Whatever your love language is, be sure to communicate it to your loved one so that you can avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary hurt feelings.
2.
Respect Respect is a very sensitive subject, and the notion of respect is frequently the culprit of many misunderstandings and heated arguments in relationships.
It's therefore vital to remember, that people often have very different opinions about what is proper respect, especially if they are from a different cultural background.
In other words, what you perceive to be disrespectful may be totally normal in the opinion of another and so someone's actions may not necessarily be a sign of a lack of respect even if you happen to feel disrespected.
However, there are a number of behaviors that universally should NEVER be mistaken for being in any way respectful.
These include; violent behavior; emotional abuse; constant lying; betrayal; and malicious manipulation.
If you find these behaviors in your partner and in your relationship, it is time to consider whether you want to spend your time and energy on fixing these die-hard habits, or if you are perhaps better off getting away from them while your self-esteem is still intact.
3.
Intimacy Intimacy implies closeness, togetherness, affection, warmth and sexual connection.
Whether we are talking about verbal or physical communication, it is important to have a level of intimacy that you are comfortable with and that promotes feelings of being heard, loved and respected.
You should not feel pushed or coerced into overstepping your own boundaries when it comes to intimacy.
Communication is key when it comes to finding a level of intimacy that you can both be satisfied with.
4.
Trust Without an air of trust in a relationship, feelings of love, respect and intimacy will gradually suffocate.
Ideally, and for your own peace of mind, trust is best when initially given unconditionally, and a feeling of mistrust toward the other should first be earned.
In other words, innocent until proven guilty! To maintain a healthy level of trust in the relationship, you and your partner must both be reliable, open, honest, supportive and trustworthy in your communication and in your actions with each-other at least 95% of the time.
If you know, that you can trust your partner when you reveal your weaknesses, fears, hopes and dreams without this information being ignored, laughed at, shared with others or used against you in later arguments, you can rest assured that you have a good supportive friend that you can trust as well as a lover.
A person who is not trustworthy will soon enough show his or hers true colors by not paying attention to what you say, by not showing up on agreed times, by making constant excuses for poor behavior, by lying, by acting defensive without an apparent cause, by having a confusing and indirect communication, and by giving mixed signals over and over again.
However, do in keep in mind, that if you find yourself having constant trust issues with the people around you, the problem may just as well be coming from within yourself.
5.
Common interests When it comes to common interests, you do clearly not have to share all of them with a potential partner.
However, without a good amount of shared interests, values, beliefs, etc.
, you will easily get bored or irritated, and you will not have much to talk about nor will you have many things you can do together after the first exhilarating romance have calmed down.
Opposites may attract but not for long! Important common interests that are worth considering before investing in a long-term relationship include: children (having or not, type of education, discipline, etc), where and how to live, how to spend your free time (travel, sports, hobbies, etc), personality (extrovert vs introvert), religious beliefs (can they find common ground), cultural background (can it work), level of education and political views.
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