Is The Behavior of Boys Controlling You? (Pt1)
The behavior of boys is one that has struck fear in communities, countries, and even the world.
Campaigns have emerged to improve it, understand it, as well as fight against it.
However, the fact remains that when young men get angry, they can quickly lose control or do they? Anger is one of the primary emotions all humans feel and have felt at some point in life.
You've experienced it, I've experienced it, and boys continue to experience it.
As time progresses, growth and maturity in the area of anger should be the goal.
If we never master anger totally, positive ways to manage it should at least be our focus.
This is critical because anger has the ability to become a problem instead of just being an emotion that we feel.
Like many problems we face, young men solve them quite differently.
Developing skills like communication and compromise is what some use to solve their issues with anger, while others become more rebellious and engage in power struggles.
Young men often use these strategies to manipulate girlfriends, parents, and other adults they encounter.
Each experience boys have with anger draws on the skills they've learned from previous situations.
Unfortunately, this practice helps boys maximize their anger to control others.
Yelling doesn't work, breaking things won't help, and physically harming others will only cause long-term problems, which they understand.
However, many boys today go a different direction and practice a strategy I call "Anger to Influence".
They've learned that if I act out or threaten to...
the people around me will give in.
In reality, they've learned how to use anger as a means of manipulation and influencing others to do what they want.
As an outsider observing someone using "Anger to Influence", it appears that they are out of control.
What's really happening is they're actually gaining more control over the person they're directing their anger towards.
They look like they've lost control when in fact they've gained it, which is extremely dangerous! We must understand that behavior never changes until there is no more power to be gained from it.
If they continue getting power from the behavior, they will continue acting it out because power equals control.
This is the strategy that young men often use on young ladies they want to control and manipulate, as well as adults in their lives.
This skill is actually taken from boyhood into adulthood and mastered at an even greater level.
What money can't buy, "Anger to Influence" will provide.
Young men program the people in their lives to cater to this attitude by using it to see how far they can go and what they can get from them.
Human nature conditions us to avoid conflict; therefore behaviors hypnotize us to fall under their spell of influence by avoiding confrontation.
Some boys use "Anger to Influence" even when they're not mad.
When they want something they'll momentarily convince themselves that the emotional anger they're displaying is real.
When in reality the anger is used to trigger the emotion of fear in others to influence them to give into the demand.
Chris Cannon is the author of WINNING back our BOYS and a national youth empowerment speaker, whose mission is transforming today's youth into tomorrow's leaders.
Teachers, parents, and youth educators nationally, often share their amazement about the impact his award-winning interactive presentations, have on their young people.
Campaigns have emerged to improve it, understand it, as well as fight against it.
However, the fact remains that when young men get angry, they can quickly lose control or do they? Anger is one of the primary emotions all humans feel and have felt at some point in life.
You've experienced it, I've experienced it, and boys continue to experience it.
As time progresses, growth and maturity in the area of anger should be the goal.
If we never master anger totally, positive ways to manage it should at least be our focus.
This is critical because anger has the ability to become a problem instead of just being an emotion that we feel.
Like many problems we face, young men solve them quite differently.
Developing skills like communication and compromise is what some use to solve their issues with anger, while others become more rebellious and engage in power struggles.
Young men often use these strategies to manipulate girlfriends, parents, and other adults they encounter.
Each experience boys have with anger draws on the skills they've learned from previous situations.
Unfortunately, this practice helps boys maximize their anger to control others.
Yelling doesn't work, breaking things won't help, and physically harming others will only cause long-term problems, which they understand.
However, many boys today go a different direction and practice a strategy I call "Anger to Influence".
They've learned that if I act out or threaten to...
the people around me will give in.
In reality, they've learned how to use anger as a means of manipulation and influencing others to do what they want.
As an outsider observing someone using "Anger to Influence", it appears that they are out of control.
What's really happening is they're actually gaining more control over the person they're directing their anger towards.
They look like they've lost control when in fact they've gained it, which is extremely dangerous! We must understand that behavior never changes until there is no more power to be gained from it.
If they continue getting power from the behavior, they will continue acting it out because power equals control.
This is the strategy that young men often use on young ladies they want to control and manipulate, as well as adults in their lives.
This skill is actually taken from boyhood into adulthood and mastered at an even greater level.
What money can't buy, "Anger to Influence" will provide.
Young men program the people in their lives to cater to this attitude by using it to see how far they can go and what they can get from them.
Human nature conditions us to avoid conflict; therefore behaviors hypnotize us to fall under their spell of influence by avoiding confrontation.
Some boys use "Anger to Influence" even when they're not mad.
When they want something they'll momentarily convince themselves that the emotional anger they're displaying is real.
When in reality the anger is used to trigger the emotion of fear in others to influence them to give into the demand.
Chris Cannon is the author of WINNING back our BOYS and a national youth empowerment speaker, whose mission is transforming today's youth into tomorrow's leaders.
Teachers, parents, and youth educators nationally, often share their amazement about the impact his award-winning interactive presentations, have on their young people.
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