Eye Contact

• Eye contact is the most direct form of nonverbal communication. How long or short the stare and how often or infrequently someone does it in the course of a conversation reveals a lot. Frank, trusting people stare directly at you. People who actively avoid eye contact make the opposite impression. Eyes rolled upward tell you someone is tired; eyes cast downward show that someone is reticent. Constantly shifting eyes suggest nervousness, while staring off into the distance can equate to boredom.
  
  

Facial Expressions

• Every time our facial muscles move naturally, a feeling momentarily ripples through us. When happy, we smile; when disappointed, we frown; when discontent, we pout; when impatient, we purse our lips; when surprised, we lift our eyebrows; when sad, we lower them; when scared, we tighten our cheeks; when angry, we jut our chins out; when amazed, we drop our jaw. We wear a bland, static expression among strangers, but show more vivid, animated ones among friends and family.
  
  

Gestures, Posture, Positioning

• By just watching the face, though, you miss many of the body's other signals. The anger in a finger pointed accusingly and the rage in a clenched fist is unmistakable. Nail biting, hair tugging and leg tapping intensify the more anxious we feel. Sadness instinctively causes us to bow our heads and draw in our shoulders. Assertive personality-types gravitate toward the center of groups; passive ones stay more toward the fringe. But almost everyone feels ill at ease when a stranger stands too closely, invading someone's "comfort zone."
  
  

Voice Characteristics

• Body language is auditory as well as visual. Much can be learned about someone from how he speaks than from what she says. A simple laugh, shout, whine or sigh has the same meaning the world over. So ask yourself: is the pitch of the voice going up, down or monotone? Is it loud or soft-spoken? Is the pace of the speech rapid or slow, constant or changing? Does the speaker make meaningful pauses for effect or random ones to organize his thoughts? Changes in pitch, volume and pace bring home or cast doubt on the underlying meaning of the speaker's words. So, listen as well as watch.
  
  

Involuntary Signals

• Humankind's evolution has left us with a set of nonverbal reactions we have absolutely no control over. At times, simple biology asserts itself in the form of autonomous physiological responses. When embarrassed, we blush. When stressed out, we blink and swallow more frequently. When enraged, our nostrils flair out. When we feel sad or sentimental, our eyes moisten. When seized by terror, our breath grows labored and we may start trembling. Our skin turns pale and clammy when we receive unexpected bad news.