Conflict management at work
Interacting with others gives us a dilemma: how do we meet our needs and achieve our goals if at the same time those goals and needs appear to be in opposition to someone else's? If this dilemma involves someone with whom we need to maintain a working relationship, a conflict in the workplace can arise. How we go about managing and resolving this tension determines whether we create negative or positive conflict.
When we think of conflict, words like argument or battle come to mind. Another definition is that workplace conflict is ‘differences potentially working in opposition'. Conflict in the workplace can be constructive rather than destructive. If we can express and work through differences constructively, we can generate creative solutions, understand more about each other and ourselves, and resolve workplace conflict resulting inbetter on-going relationships.
A person can be represented by the concepts below.
Inside us is an internal self; the heart of who we are. This core is independent from culture, background, class, age, or gender.
Around this core are needs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs suggests people in conflict are people whose needs are not being met, particularly their relationship needs - the need to be heard, known and recognised, to be validated, and part of a group. Having our needs under attack or going unmet causes stress and often underlines workplace conflict.
We develop beliefs and values about how we will get our needs met: we expect these to keep us safe. Our own beliefs and values feel normal to us and seem to be self-evidently a sign of good mental health and wellbeing. Many workplace conflicts contain a clash of beliefs and values which threaten our sense of wellbeing and stir up strong emotions. Words like ‘professional', ‘respect' and ‘appropriate' are shorthand for a person's set of beliefs or underlying needs.
Our behaviours are how our beliefs, values and needs are made visible. Often, the behaviour of one person is more fuel to the fire of the other and is interpreted by them as evidence of the wrongness not only of their behaviours, but of them as a person.
Conflicts in the workplace arise because other people are not like you. While they have the same needs as you, their beliefs and values are shown to the world through their behaviours, which we filter through our own beliefs and values. Often we can assess these wrongly, and draw conclusions about that person's value, worth, and ‘personality'.
Traditional conflict managementat work has been to find a third party to act as the arbiter of whose values, beliefs and behaviours are ‘right', and ‘appropriate'. People in dispute at work look to this person – often the manager, or HR – for evaluation and validation. Constructive conflict management is where, rather than judge and assess, you work to help people with a conflict at work identify what they have interpreted and what they have assumed in order to clarify, and acknowledge differences and mutual needs. Constructive conflict management gets people to connect not only behaviour to behaviour, but ‘value to value' and ‘need to need' – which is why it is often called ‘needs-based resolution'. So take a better approach to managing conflict at work and help people interact so that they make more of themselves visible to each other, rather than seeking to compromise about behaviours.
When we think of conflict, words like argument or battle come to mind. Another definition is that workplace conflict is ‘differences potentially working in opposition'. Conflict in the workplace can be constructive rather than destructive. If we can express and work through differences constructively, we can generate creative solutions, understand more about each other and ourselves, and resolve workplace conflict resulting inbetter on-going relationships.
Understanding why people get into conflict at work
A person can be represented by the concepts below.
The core
Inside us is an internal self; the heart of who we are. This core is independent from culture, background, class, age, or gender.
Human needs
Around this core are needs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs suggests people in conflict are people whose needs are not being met, particularly their relationship needs - the need to be heard, known and recognised, to be validated, and part of a group. Having our needs under attack or going unmet causes stress and often underlines workplace conflict.
Beliefs and values
We develop beliefs and values about how we will get our needs met: we expect these to keep us safe. Our own beliefs and values feel normal to us and seem to be self-evidently a sign of good mental health and wellbeing. Many workplace conflicts contain a clash of beliefs and values which threaten our sense of wellbeing and stir up strong emotions. Words like ‘professional', ‘respect' and ‘appropriate' are shorthand for a person's set of beliefs or underlying needs.
Behaviours
Our behaviours are how our beliefs, values and needs are made visible. Often, the behaviour of one person is more fuel to the fire of the other and is interpreted by them as evidence of the wrongness not only of their behaviours, but of them as a person.
Why do we get conflict at work?
Conflicts in the workplace arise because other people are not like you. While they have the same needs as you, their beliefs and values are shown to the world through their behaviours, which we filter through our own beliefs and values. Often we can assess these wrongly, and draw conclusions about that person's value, worth, and ‘personality'.
Traditional conflict managementat work has been to find a third party to act as the arbiter of whose values, beliefs and behaviours are ‘right', and ‘appropriate'. People in dispute at work look to this person – often the manager, or HR – for evaluation and validation. Constructive conflict management is where, rather than judge and assess, you work to help people with a conflict at work identify what they have interpreted and what they have assumed in order to clarify, and acknowledge differences and mutual needs. Constructive conflict management gets people to connect not only behaviour to behaviour, but ‘value to value' and ‘need to need' – which is why it is often called ‘needs-based resolution'. So take a better approach to managing conflict at work and help people interact so that they make more of themselves visible to each other, rather than seeking to compromise about behaviours.
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