When you're on a mission to get your ex back, there's a lot of stress to deal with...and a lot of people make some pretty bad mistakes because they get so fouled up by it. Some of these mistakes can be pretty costly, so it's a good idea to watch out for them and stop them before they happen.

Some of these mistakes can be hard to see coming, because you do them almost on impulse. A lot of emotions can fly around in a breakup, and it can lead to poor judgement on your part when it comes to hasty choices. Luckily though, it is possible to keep yourself from sabotaging your own efforts if you know what to watch out for and keep a clear head.

The first big mistake people usually make happens as soon as the initial breakup fight ends...so chances are if you're reading this you may already have made it! A lot of people panic when their partners break up with them, and with the best of intentions (to prove your dedication and love beyond a shadow of a doubt) they make the huge mistake of swamping their ex with attention. This is a big no-no.

When your partner breaks up with you, it means he or she needs some time off. Granted, your ex probably had a lot more time off in mind when he or she dumped you, but a period of about a month should be spent with as absolutely little contact with one another as possible given the circumstances. If you and your ex work in the same place or have the same classes together, it'll be hard to avoid each other altogether...so just be civil and polite without being personal. If there are no such issues, though...keep away, no matter how much you feel you need to talk to him or her.

Chasing your ex down may be romantic and dedicated in your head, but outside your head it translates to desperate and lonely...and it only hurts your chances of ever pulling off a reconciliation. Give your ex this month of free space...it's a great way to get him or her to start to miss you, and if you guys really were such a great fit your ex'll probably have you on his/her mind a lot.

The other most destructive mistake people make is during this period when the pain and loneliness is at its peak...I call it "drunken dialing." You've probably heard of or experienced it...when it's so late at night it's technically morning, you've had a few drinks to try and dull the pain, and you miss your ex so bad that you don't care about keeping your distance and just want to hear his or her voice...so you whip out your phone and make the call. More likely than not your ex will be sleeping if he or she is even home, so you'll get the answering machine or voicemail and feel compelled to let all your feelings come rushing out of your mouth and into the recorder.

Then you wake up the next morning and bang your head against the wall for what you did...not exactly helping the hangover you probably have. If you think pursuing your ex after a breakup makes you look desperate and needy, those dramatic 3AM phone calls really take the cake. One of your goals should be to let your ex see how well you're doing and moving on, and that's NOT an image that's going to be supported by a case of drunken dialing. Luckily, this mistake is easy enough to avoid if you have a lockdown on your self-control that hasn't been loosened by drugs or alcohol...it also helps to actually get some sleep, so that you're not up that late (easier said than done I know, but it's unhealthy to lose sleep anyways).

So those are the two biggest whoppers of mistakes people make sometimes...they're often so impulsive that people can't catch them, but they're totally avoidable and with some substantial effort fixable if this article came too late for you. The bottom line is that determination and self-control are two of the most valuable traits when you're trying to get your ex back, as well as when you're trying to keep a relationship from going under in the first place.

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