Unaware of its source, we are sometimes anxious and discontent; nothing feels right.
It's a free-floating feeling, one we can't seem to pinpoint.
We don't hate our job but we really don't like it either.
Our relationships are okay, but none of them are close and intimate.
We go through all the motions but still feel disconnected from ourselves.
The most we can ask is to be attuned to these fluctuations and see if they have any staying power.
What's really going on? Because we don't have the answers, we mostly disregard these feelings as irrational, hoping they are fleeting and will pass.
But they linger, and eventually we must either rationalize or confront them.
After all, we ask ourselves, if we don't like what we are doing, why don't we do something else? If we don't want to be with this person, whom do we want to be with? Could it be that what works for us at one time simply doesn't cut it at another? The right question to ask ourselves is this: Do we have to know what we want in order to know what we don't want? And if we know what we don't want, does that move us closer to the things we need? Knowing evolves in steps.
We do not wake up one morning and have all the answers.
Often, we learn about ourselves through a process of elimination.
Like peeling an onion, we peel away layer after layer until we get to the good stuff.
Not this, not this, we say, as we get closer to what feels right.
If truth be told, most of the time we have no idea where we are going or where we will end up.
It doesn't matter.
What does matter is that we are leaving behind what doesn't work, what we no longer need.
As long as we can let go of broken dreams and worn-out goals, we can move in a different direction, one that nourishes our soul.
If we are fortunate and grab a bit of grace, the minute we let go of the old way, something new and interesting comes along.
But that is usually not the case.
This shift is never easy, and we usually land in limbo.
We are between two doors - one that has closed and one that is not yet opened.
If we wait until we have all the answers we will never move out from that deadly secure place.
We may be afraid, but that is never a reason to stay stuck.
Fear of the unknown is natural.
We move forward by acknowledging our fear and accepting the discomfort as part of the process.
By staying connected to our feelings, we remain vulnerable and open to unimaginable opportunities and possibilities.
And by identifying our excess baggage, we have lightened our load and increased our chances for happiness.
Chapter 49 from Reality Works - Let It Happen Copyright © 2002 Chandra Alexander