If you've been restructured, outsourced, re-engineered, downsized, forced to retire or relocated out of a job, you know that unemployment is painful. Your self-confidence and self-esteem are up for grabs.  You may feel helpless, frustrated, confused, angry, desperate and vulnerable.  Time can feel like an enemy.  Minutes become hours, then hours become days.  You rail at the unfairness of being terminated; after all, you're educated, experienced and dedicated, and employers should value your contribution.  Even though you've probably seen friends and relatives lose jobs through no fault of their own, when it's your turn, it's a rude awakening.

If you spend much time out of work, you begin to feel like a goldfish swimming around and around with no place to go.  In the goldfish bowl, you mind races with worries:  "What if the bowl shatters?"  "How can I overcome my job loss?"  "What do I do about the current economic situation?" "What' my next step?" Being in the goldfish bowl is a mind-boggling adventure you'd rather avoid.  Your options are to sink, swim, float or jump back into the job market.

Of course, the goldfish bowl offers certain benefits.  It provides a temporary shelter from the reality of your job loss.  It helps you feel safe and secure for short periods of time, allowing you to heal the lingering emotional pain.  Eventually, this will help you come to terms with what's truly a significant loss – the death of your role as an employee.  It's all right to cry, change moods and feel mad, scared or uncertain.  But try to stay calm and patient, even if your first impulse may be to panic. Take comfort in the fact that what you're experiencing is temporary. In fact, it's an opportunity in disguise, a chance to refocus your career goals.

 The goldfish bowl can also serve as a safety net.  Your first reaction may be to do something – anything – to regain a sense of control.  It's wiser, however, to take time to reflect and assess your situation realistically before making hasty decisions.  Fortunately, fear of the unknown often forces job hunters to take a mental retreat.  During this period of limbo, try to tap into your inner strength.  Never give up on yourself.  Realize that your situation will change.  Choose to keep trying.  Life will get better, and you'll be employed again.

Start the process by visualizing yourself in your new position. Who will you work for?  Is it in the same or a related field?  What do you hope your life will be like?  Think about concrete ways to take charge of your career, get a job you'll love and create success now.  Develop a career plan that can change and expand according to economic conditions.

View yourself a president of your own company, "Me Inc."  Employment security no longer exists.  Job hunting will be a lifetime challenge.  To stay marketable, you must learn new skills, be flexible, do more than your job description and keep up with industry and workplace trends.  Be prepared for failures along the way, and view them as learning experiences that will help you succeed later.  There's no better way to discovery your strengths and weaknesses and recognize the value of self-confidence.

Life always provides choices. You can stay or leave the goldfish bowl.  An internal transition process began when you lost your job.  When you've taken enough time to grieve and deal with your confusion and distress, move forward.  You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.  You now know the truth about the world and are free to risk making changes to find your ideal job.  Let change be a companion rather than a crisis in your life.

Frances Schmidt 2012

Author Getting Hired Handbook for College Graduates 2012

Getting Hired in Any Job Market 2001

www.gettinghiredhandbook.com