While an unhappy and unsuccessful marriage can leave quite a bitter taste, so can a life led in loneliness. Therefore, marriage after divorce must be considered very normal and healthy. Yet, plenty facts and factors must be considered before stepping into re-marriage. Taking a decision in haste is the first thing to be cautious of.
Todays stressed-up and mechanical metro lives can bring divorce to any marriage. However, the notion of remarriage after divorce continues to receive sparse enthusiasm by many. Call it the once bitten, twice shy syndrome or a matter of an ordeal not worth going through all over again-the questions of right or wrong and yes or no frequently accompany the thought of indulging in wedlock post a failed marriage. However, the reality of life is that we all need a partner, because we as social beings are not made to live alone, both psychologically and biologically. We need a partner who can be with us at all life stages and at all moments to share all kinds of emotions- be it joy, anxiety, sadness, excitement or anger. And, it is through the sharing of these emotions that we help each other to grow. Yes, breaking of a marriage is a serious life event. But life is like water. And like water, life moves on. It moves on for everything and for everybody. What is crucial however, is for you to be consciously and completely prepared to move on. Only then, will you move towards the right direction and in the right frame of mind.
Critical Facts to be checked
Have you dealt with the trauma of separation?
Most people dont have the courage to effectively accept the trauma of separation and rationalize their thoughts in accordance. They end up finding themselves in the blame- game mode, many a times drowning in self blame too. In either case- such negativity is bound to surface in the next relationship, if not dealt with properly.
Have you assessed your weaknesses?
Divorce cannot be the doing of just one person. Even if there is one sufferer, he/she has made a contribution by allowing the other to behave in a way that led to the suffering. So, even if the contribution comes in the way of a lack in assertiveness, a lack of awareness or an indifferent behavior; one must identify ones weaknesses that helped result in a painful and unsuccessful marriage. It is advisable to work closely with a professional, to discuss the matter with an unbiased friend or relative or, to use the help of good self-help look.
Have you taken your learning?
All experiences lead to some important learning. And it is easy to overcome suffering if we are able to discover the meaning of an experience and learn from it. This coping mechanism stems from a famous school of thought in psychology called the Meaning Therapy or the Logo Therapy. It implies that identifying the right meaning behind an experience will help shape better circumstances in the future.
Going Forward
Avoid haste
Our near and dear ones always want to see us back on our feet and want to see the picture perfect and complete. Hence, they tend to constantly coax us into starting a new marriage at the earliest. Remember, marriage is a lifetime decision and which way your decision sways, does matter. Hurrying up about getting into a second marriage is being unwise. Patience must be observed even if kids from an earlier marriage are involved.
Resist temptations
It is very normal to experience loneliness post a divorce. Hence, the mind stays pre-occupied with finding some form of emotional support elsewhere. At such times, new, abrupt and random relationships seem apt to fill the sudden vacuum. As a result, many people unknowingly jump into relationships that can turn out to be disastrous and mentally traumatic. Temptations can cause much pain and hence, must be kept away. Phases of feeling lonely and low are bound to come by. Yet, dedicated efforts towards self-constraint will go a long way in developing clarity in thought as well as in helping one decide what one wants from relationships to come.

Be Prepared
Remarriage is a good idea, but only when you are ready. Haste seldom leads to success. At the end of the day, it is your marriage and ultimately your life at stake. Not submitting to the desires of the mind and body is essential. Be sure that you are mentally, emotionally and intellectually ready to step into another marriage and to accept another human being into your life. Re-marriage should be about knowing what is psychologically and emotionally right for you; not about finding the right match.
Know Yourself
Take time out to know your own self better. Make efforts to come out of negative emotions such as self-doubt, guilt and suffering. This is crucial before stepping into another union. After all, your mental and emotional state is bound to impact your new partner and ultimately, your marriage.
The fear of the second marriage turning out to be a failure is a very common deterring factor for anyone who undergoes a divorce. However, just because things between two people didnt click; it does not mean that life will offer us the same sequence every time. The same sequence or the same situations however, are likely to repeat if one has not successfully learnt the lessons that life offered to teach by way of previous relationships. If one consciously puts in substantial efforts to avoid haste, resist temptations, be prepared, know oneself better and on the whole learn from past experiences; one is headed in the right direction towards taking the next step.