How will you know you are dealing with a Pleasant Puppy? This type of difficult person has a very pleasant and agreeable exterior, but you need to listen carefully to the language they are using.
Ask the Puppy to do something and he or she will likely respond, "I'll finish that for you.
Want that done? No problem.
No problem at all.
Need that dropped off? OK.
Like that mailed at the post office? Sure, can do.
You need it by 5pm Friday? No sweat.
" The behavior of these Puppies is super agreeable and they generally tell you just what you want to hear.
They let you believe they are in agreement with you and then later let you down by not following through.
To please others and avoid confrontation which they abhor, they say yes without thinking things through and often will over-commit.
What is their motivation? Basically, they have an overwhelming need for approval - to be liked or at least accepted by everyone all of the time.
To avoid disapproval, they will commit themselves to actions and responsibilities they do not intend to fulfill.
They accept unrealistic demands, saying "yes" when they need to say "no", or at the very least, "but".
They promise deadlines that can not be met, and pledge to "do their best".
They may keep problems to themselves and often play it safe to avoid any risks.
At worst, they turn into yes-people who tell you what they think you want to hear, rather than what they really believe.
How to cope with the Pleasant Puppy: * Request an honest opinion from them.
Say, "I really want to know what's on your mind.
" * Make it clear that their honest opinion or criticism will not displease you.
"Tell me - what part of the proposal do you think should be modified?" * Be personable and try not to be too formal when you can.
Act as if you see them as people in whom you are interested.
* Try to prevent them from making unrealistic commitments they won't keep.
"Will that be a problem for you? Some people prefer to ...
" * Be prepared to compromise and negotiate in order to avoid conflict.
"I'm willing to go along with ...
if that will help.
" * Listen to their humor.
Often it masks a hidden message.
If a Pleasant Puppy says, "Here's Mrs.
Expert again.
" You might respond: "I've been wondering about your calling me that.
Is there something I'm doing that gets in the way?" In my experience, too-pleasant and too-eager-to-please people may have difficulty being more assertive because that involves taking a risk.
Their passive behavior allows them to avoid conflict by trying to always please others.
If you manage a "Pleasant Puppy," try to help that person to develop assertive behavior skills.