See Also:Funniest Political Quotes Ever

"We have defeated Jim Crow, but now we have to deal with his son, James Crow Jr., esquire."
 
"I do believe the Democratic party has moved far to the right. I do believe that the party has a bunch of elephants running around in donkey clothes."

"George Bush giving tax cuts is like Jim Jones giving Kool-Aid. It tastes good but it'll kill you." 

"I wanted to say to Governor Dean, don't be hard on yourself about hooting and hollering.


If I had spent the money you did and got 18 percent, I'd still be in Iowa hooting and hollering."

“Crime is going down everywhere but in the New York City Police Department.”

"I suggest to you tonight that if George Bush had selected the court in '54, Clarence Thomas would have never got to law school."

"I can become President because I never had a stunt man do my dirty work." -after Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California

"That's like saying, 'I'm honest but I ain't never been around no money.'" -after Howard Dean said he's not a racist but had never lived in a racially diverse community

"If I were president, I would go in and say, ‘We were wrong.’ Tony Blair and George Bush had a meeting, acted as though it was a world summit. Two guys in a phone booth acted like the whole world had met."

"Mr. Bush will not be, in a Sharpton administration, the head of missing persons. He can't find bin Laden. We don't know if Hussein is living or dead, and we can't find the weapons of mass destruction."

"If Charlton Heston can have a constitutional right carry a rifle, why can't grandma have a constitutional right to health care?"

"I understand deficit spending. I was born in deficit spending."

"I want to welcome him to our list of candidates. And don't be defensive about just joining the party. It's better to be a new Democrat that's a real Democrat than a lot of old Democrats up here that have been acting like Republicans all along." -welcoming Gen. Wesley Clark to the Democratic presidential race 

"Clearly, [President Bush] lied. Now if he is an unconscious liar, and doesn't realize when he's lying, then we're really in trouble."

"They tried to say that being gay is a sin, and I said that adultery is a sin. Adultery is responsible for breaking up more marriages, but do we put that in the Constitution? It’s absurd.”

"I'm projected as an ambulance chaser, but I'm more the ambulance. People call me because they know I will come.… I have never fought a case where they didn't ask me to come. People have this picture like I'm sitting up in bed at night with a walkie-talkie. 'You hear anything? Oh, let's run! It's Virginia today!'… Every victim calls us.… 'Who put Sharpton in charge?" The victim!"

"It is true that Mr. Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, after which there was a commitment to give 40 acres and a mule. That's where the argument, to this day, of reparations starts. We never got the 40 acres... We went all the way to Herbert Hoover, and we never got the 40 acres. We didn't get the mule. So we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us." -speaking at the Democratic Convention