Communicate

• If you find yourself issuing orders or threats more often than having conversations, your relationship with kids needs some work. Treat communication with your kids as you would a friend or spouse. Take an interest in them. Ask questions about their lives, friends and dreams. Listen attentively. Be honest. If you feel they aren't old enough for certain information, tell them so and promise to revisit the subject -- don't just make up an answer to pacify them. Avoid empty reasoning, such as "Because I said so." Kids may recognize your authority, but they may not respect it until you treat them with respect too.
  
  

Spend Time Together

• Being in the same room isn't enough to improve your relationship with kids. Go out of your way to spend quality time with children and they will notice and appreciate it. Take your favorite girl to the batting cages and pitch to her. Go for a walk with your favorite little man. Set up regular "date nights" with kids. Pick them up from school on a Friday and tell them they can pick the evening's activities. Watch a funny movie together. If the kids are younger, read to them or tell them stories.
  
  

Be Consistent

• You will gain children's trust and respect when you show that you are a reliable adult. If you make a promise, keep it. Even saying that you are going to do something -- for example, "We'll go for ice cream when I finish this" -- is a promise. Be the same person all the time. If kids aren't sure whether they can rely on you emotionally, they will be reluctant to approach you with either good news or bad. Follow through on discipline. Show kids that there are consequences for breaking rules. Don't be selective about when you enforce rules, even if disciplining is inconvenient at the moment.
  
  

Be Patient

• It's easy to lose your temper when you have to answer a child's multiple questions, but doing so can seriously damage your relationship. Keep the child's emotional health in mind and answer calmly. When a child doesn't understand something, don't become impatient and frustrated. If a child resists discipline or rules, keep your cool. Children cannot hope to have a good relationship with an adult who is unable to stay calm and objective.
  
  

Be Supportive

• Supporting kids is a crucial way to improve relationships. Attend their matches and recitals. Be vocal in your support even if they perform badly. Focus on the effort, not the win or loss; for example, "You really did your best today and I'm so proud of you!" Compliment specific actions to show kids you are paying attention. Saying "That catch you made in the third inning was phenomenal!" shows that you were really present, not just sitting in the stands. Don't undermine kids' decisions just because you don't agree with them. Encourage kids to follow their dreams and do what you can to help them.