When the holidays hit, it can be hard for persons just going through a divorce.
This is even more so if children were apart of the marriage.
Holidays are reminders about the family no longer being together and as a result, it can be a heartbreaking occasion for the first few years after divorce.
You can however, establish new traditions that make this time of year special again.
For some, they may find themselves together for the holidays and are able to keep the peace for the kids' sake.
This may not be the case right away though as there may be hurt feelings looming and until this dissipates, then Dads will have to be able to handle these special occasions.
1.
With all the excitement and confusion that can happen during the holidays, it is up to you to plan ahead when managing your family's time from a distance.
Being able to properly plan and communicate your intentions without being aggressive about it, will help your ex to not feel pressured.
2.
It may have been hard to keep all the promises you make to your kids but especially where divorce is concerned this is a very sticky period in life to start breaking promises.
Ensure that you keep your promises to your kids particularly during the holidays.
3.
Allow for flexibility in your planning.
Since the family is now separated, you have to face the facts that the family's plans aren't necessarily going to be your plans.
You may find that the kids may end up spending the holidays with Mom instead of you.
In this case you should be willing to accept the changes and work around them.
Compromise is also key here.
4.
There is nothing wrong with having two sets of holiday celebrations if you have to.
As I said before, communicate your intentions to the people involved beforehand.
Establishing your own traditions supports the fact that the children have two strong homes.
5.
The kids should definitely be involved with any planning of activities which involve them.
If it is possible, they should be encouraged to make the decisions about when and where to spend the holidays.
Let them understand though that there will be no hard feelings involved and that they are an important part of the collaboration between their parents.
6.
Do not let guilt rule your good senses and allow you to spoil your kids during the holidays.
First of all, they can see right through your attempts to buy their affections plus you should always act like a responsible parent despite a change in your living arrangements.
7.
If you end up spending the holidays by yourself, don't mope around in a funk.
I know that this would be a hard thing to bear especially with the memories of better times but take the opportunity to spend time with supportive family and friends or make some other special plans.
Communication and proper planning will help to make the situation better for everyone.
Experts recommend entering a parenting contract with your ex-wife which covers where the kids will spend holidays and birthdays.
This will work to everybody's advantage in the long run as arguing over the same matters over and over again will eventually take its toll.
Additionally, you may end up disappointing your kids with expectations.
Having things such as this written in black and white will save everybody the drama and heartache.