Remember the popular book and movie, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood authored by Rebecca Wells? Well, maybe it wasn't so popular with males but certainly my women friends were a buzz with talk of the "sisterhood.
" Women friendships not only provide support and connection but a certain kind of intellectual stimulation, not unlike what Daniel Goleman describes in Emotional Intelligence.
He states, "Our humanity is most evident in our feelings.
" My most valued experience with women friends includes moments of authenticity and tender feelings honored.
I sit with my women's group, the six of us, consuming our shared lunch by the bank of the Bow River.
We're a lucky bunch of bodacious and babbling broads to have a member who has river property.
There is a code of etiquette even with familiar women friends, yet there is vulnerability, honesty, secrets revealed, enthused agreements, enthused disagreements, celebration of our differences and sometimes, whine with wine.
It seems to me that women are catching up to discover and share their real and lived experience.
Perhaps the world will become healthier as we embrace the truth of our lives-the dismay and joy of raising children; the frustration and support of a love relationship; the demands and satisfaction of a career.
In the meantime, I have a sense that I am steadier and wiser through the strength of the listening ears and cheerleading comments of our collective.
Here are some of the ideas that were ignited or reignited after a summer afternoon with my women friends: · A safe environment allows your soul to show itself.
· There is a love that transcends race, age, sex and other barriers your belief-making-mind often creates.
· When women's apparel, often designed to make you look a certain way, is discomforting, it is OK to remove it.
· Clothes come in many forms of "uniform.
" There is the uniform for corporate work, for trades-type work, for sports activities, for lounging, for celebrations and for sending a sexual message.
Why do some women shy totally away from ever wearing sexy clothing while others parade it inappropriately? · What is your responsibility in regards to how your daughter chooses to dress? How does your son fit into this picture? · As a woman you need to define who you are and how you want to be treated.
To be labeled a "sweet little thing" may be useful for a partner and the in-laws but is it suitable for you and your career destination? · Partnerships require investment of time and care.
So do friendships.
· You are never too old to learn a new skill or go back to school.
· Often when women are accused of gossiping they are merely sharing concern for a mutual friend and sometimes strategizing how to help.
Malicious gossip, where women revel in the misfortune of another, is rare.
· Sometimes you don't know what is best emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually for yourself or your loved ones.
Sometimes you just need to settle for acceptance of yourself and your connections.
· Laughter is the sweet cherry in the fruit compote when time is spent with your women friends.