First of all, you have to let the child know that the cause of the separation has nothing to do with him or her.
This is an important position which should always be reiterated by both parents at all times.
Most times children feel as though the separation between parents is his or her fault and many times parents are so preoccupied with how they feel and what they are going through, they seem to forget that children need constant reassurance.
Even if the reason your spouse has decided to leave is because he or she did not want a child or maybe more children, it is not okay to tell a young child he is the cause of his mother or father leaving the family.
Children are very vulnerable, which means the possibility of emotional, physical and spiritual damage is very high.
They are more open to be damaged and experience long term effects of the harm inflicted on them through the ordeal.
Second of all, have compassion for the child, and try to empathize or see things from his point of view.
Listen to him and let him know you are there for him, to care and take care of him--not the other way around.
Often times, parents who maintain care of the child expect the child to step into the other parent's role and fill the absent parents' shoes.
Allow the child to remain a child.
While it is okay to maybe increase some of the child's chores or give him a couple of responsibilities, he should not be overwhelmed with the duties and responsibilities of the parent.
Children under stress at home have a hard time functioning at school and often maintain poor work and study habits.
Encourage your child to always be himself around both parents.
Allow them to express themselves positively and become involved in activities at school, church, at home, and outside of the home (such as city leagues, organizations, etc.
).
It is best not to confine the children only to home and school, but give liberty.
Keep your authoritativeness as a parent but letting them know you are there for them always no matter what happens.
Give them lots of love and refrain from speaking ill of your spouse in front of the children.
It may be hard because there are so many feelings you may have but it is not okay to belittle another parent in front of the child.
Allow the child to form his or her own opinions of the parent as he continues to grow; as speaking harshly could lead to resentment of the child, which will also yield unforgiveness that might take years to get passed.
It also leads to a continuous pattern of resentment and unforgiveness on your behalf because you are unable to get passed the hurt and pain and it flows down to the children.
Remember, as parents, it is our responsibility to nurture and care for the children to give them love and ensure they discover their purpose and do what we can to help them achieve their goals.
It is unwise to do anything less your child.