Planning a second wedding is no less special than planning a first wedding, however, there are a few things that should be done differently when it is not your first time down the aisle.
There are some key points of etiquette that are unique to second weddings.
These are the dos and don'ts for second time brides.
Do: Choose a sophisticated gown in a style and cut that are appropriate for your age and place in life.
Look for bridal jewelry sets with flair and style, such as keshi pearls.
Wear something elegant in your hair like a jeweled comb.
Don't: Wear a white fairy princess style bridal gown that was designed for a young ingenue.
A veil is generally reserved for a first time bride, as is a big sparkly tiara.
Whatever you do, stay away from bridal gowns and jewelry sets that in any way resemble what you wore to your first wedding! Do: Host your own wedding.
One wedding is really enough for a bride's parents to throw.
A second wedding should be hosted by the bride and groom (even if your families are actually helping with expenses).
The advantage to this is that you have the freedom to design the wedding of your dreams, not your mother's dreams.
Don't: Worry about this point of etiquette if you are a young widow.
Compassion trumps strict adherence to etiquette when a young woman is being remarried after losing her first husband after only a brief time.
However, for an older widow, the general principles for second time brides do apply, as they more or less do to first time brides who are being wed at a much older than average age.
(In other words, when you are a grown lady who has long established her own way in the world, there is no point in pretending that you are fresh out of your parents' home for the sake of the wedding.
) Do: Be sensitive to the feelings of any children from a previous marriage, whether they are yours or your fiance's.
A parent's remarriage can be a difficult time for a child, who is likely to feel torn between the new family and loyalty to their other parent.
Allow the children to participate or not in the marriage ceremony as they feel comfortable.
Don't: Have your son "give you away" at the altar.
Remember, he is not giving you away to your new husband, he is coming with you! Depending on the age of the young man, he could act as a ring bearer, stand with the groom as a groomsman, or simply sit in the first row and observe.
Do: Keep a small wedding more intimate in scale.
It can be as elegant or formal as you like, but the guest list is best limited to immediate family and close friends.
Casual acquaintances should not be expected to attend two weddings for the same person.
You can send out wedding announcements after the ceremony to share the happy news with your wider circle of casual friends.
Don't: Establish a big fancy bridal registry or allow a lavish bridal shower to be thrown in your honor.
These are really reserved for a first time bride who is just starting out in establishing her household.
It does not matter if you feel like you were short-changed in the gift or shower department the first time around, the second wedding is not a chance for a "do over" as far as presents are concerned.
Of course all these points of etiquette are in no way intended to downplay the joy and elation of a second time bride or groom.
When you know the path to having a tasteful celebration, not only will you enjoy it more, but your guests will too.