"Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.
" -Golda Meir This is one of my favorite breakup quotes.
I love the way it frees me to feel all that misery I usually keep bottled up.
If you're reading this, I'm guessing you're not one of those who married your high-school sweetheart and had a happy-ever-after.
You're here because a love affair has ended.
You feel like you've been hit by an iceberg and a huge chunk of you has crashed into the cold, blue ocean.
Your wounds may be extensive, but you will heal.
These words may help to speed it up.
•Be kind to yourself Know that this, too, shall pass.
This one disappointment is not a reflection of your worth as a human being.
No, you won't be alone forever.
Yes, you're just as lovable as you've always been.
You deserve some cheering up.
Head out for a movie with some friends.
If your Ex wasn't interested in the orchestra or ice skating, indulge yourself now.
Rediscover the joys of friends and family.
They can be a tremendous source of support in trying times.
•Assume control (even if it's shaky) Look, feel and act as if you're on top of every situation, even if your heart feels like a dam that will burst with all the pain.
If you do it long enough, one day you'll begin to believe it.
Take care to be well groomed and presentable.
You never know who you meet on the street - it could be your Ex, or it could be the soul-mate you've been waiting for your whole life.
•Allow your life to move on Wallowing in self-pity is an indulgence you can afford now and again.
Just don't make it a habit.
When you cry, let it all out.
That should give you some respite for a few days until it builds again.
You'll find the intervals stretching longer and longer and eventually, if your days and evenings are busy enough, you'll find you're actually having fun.
Enough maybe, to hold off the demons and eventually shake them off.
Live in the present moment.
It's all you have.
•Quit pressing the Rewind button As with most things in life, you can't let go unless you have some measure of understanding of why things happened.
Maybe your Ex is commitment-phobic.
Maybe they were getting over a bad breakup themselves.
It's not your fault, and it's not theirs.
If they'd like to get in touch with you again, maybe you could leave the door open for renewed communication.
Take it one step at a time.
If you're the one who called it off and now realize you committed a blunder, let your Ex know.
They may or may not give you another chance - that's their prerogative.
But you will have done your best to be true to yourself and your love.
If you get through the initial dark days, the rest just follows.
Getting over a breakup is never easy.
It's not supposed to be, or we'd never learn some of the hard lessons we do from relationships.