Our oldest daughter is just over 2 years old.
I am sure you have heard the expression "terrible twos.
" My wife and I try to stay away from this expression.
We believe that the words that come out of our mouths effect people, either for the good or the bad.
The book of James in the Bible says the tongue can either build up or tear down.
Think about it: if you constantly tell your son, "you suck at singing and have no rhythm," do you think that he is going to excel in the music field? Most likely not.
According to most psychologists the first couple years of a person's life are the most influential and important.
Childraising Cause and Effects I would venture to guess most successful people in life have somewhat encouraging upbringings, and those in the slammer have neglected or abused pasts.
I know this is not an unavoidable cause and effect, and there are many unique cases of good pasts gone wrong and bad pasts gone right; additionally, there are many other influential factors such as differing personalities, peer interaction, social/religious/political/financial constraints and probably thousands of more unknown things that affect the development of a child, but what you can do is provide the best environment for your child to grow up in.
There are outcomes you cannot help when raising your child, but you can do something.
Saturate the environment with love.
It is never too late to start and never should stop.
Its not that easy You, however, are a picture perfect parent.
You did not touch cigarettes, drugs or alcohol during the pregnancy and made sure to eat every prenatal vitamin without fail.
You had a peaceful, natural childbirth in a dimly lit room with a warm bathtub to transition into this world.
You breastfed well past recommended standards and fed your child fresh pureed fruits and vegetables.
You never raised your voice to your significant other in front of your child, or to your child for that matter.
Then your child turns two years old and walls become drawing boards! Nap-time becomes torture-time and "no" is just a suggestion.
Toys are just made for scattering, potty training is just a parent's fantasy, and an envelope is made to be pushed...
if you know what I mean! What do you do? Obviously positive reinforcement (rewarding your child for obeying or doing something good) should be implemented whenever possible, but there will come a time when they do something bad.
Then what? Here is where we enter the controversial subject: spanking.
It is utterly important to stress it is not against the law to spank a two year old.
I repeat.
Physical discipline, not abuse, of your child is not against the law.
Nor is it harmful to their emotional state of being or development.
There are so many opinions out there on what is the proper way to discipline your child, and that is all I will offer here - another opinion from one parent to another.
That is in fact all anyone can offer.
Remember, every child is different.
Some terrific twos you may never have to lay a finger on and they will be your brightest angel.
Some kids you can build a canoe out of all the broken wooden spoons you gather over the weeks.
Just kidding! Discipline Its time to assume your parental role.
Before going straight for the paddle, there are a couple things that need to be taken into consideration:

• Do they know they are in the wrong? Very important.
  It is unhealthy to discipline a child for something they did not know was wrong.
  Think about it, do you like getting blamed for a fart you did not produce? This is where taking into account how much your child understands plays a vital factor.
  If you know they are doing something to defy your authority, then by all means bring the punishment.
  
• Have they done it before? If it is something that they know they cannot do, like climb on the coffee table or pull on the cat's tail, disciplinary action is appropriate.
  If it was their curiosity, maybe a simple verbal lesson is due.
  The more they are able to get away with things they know are wrong, the more and more they will do it.
  Remember, you are not mean - they are being disobedient.
  
• Are they hungry? When was the last time they ate? When it comes to my wife, hungry = cranky:) I find this to be true with my daughters too.
  When trouble arises from this, I put my daughter in the high chair and have her wait with a crayon and paper while I prepare food for her.
  
• Are they tired? Their attention is often shortened as they try finding things to do to help delay the inevitable.
  
• Was it serious or similar to something serious? Trying to tip a tv over is much more dangerous than coloring on one of my books.
  If he/she does not realize the severity of tipping over a TV, someone could get seriously hurt.
  

Whether or not I am going to give some form of discipline, I find that getting down to their eye level and making sure they make eye contact with me as I talk to them is extremely effective.
I cannot emphasize this enough.
Whether or not discipline is administered, I do this as often as I can.
Sit, kneel, put him/her on your stomach as you lay on the couch...
however you get their sole attention, do it because something happens.
Are they impacted by your lowered position? Do they feel special you have eliminated all other distractions and have them as your sole focus? Can they see pain and/or sincerity in your eyes or feel your love and good desires for them? If this doesn't work, the next step is the time out chair.
This is sometimes effective - even when our two year old is tired or cranky.
She knows if she gets off the chair it is an instant spanking.
When all else fails its time for the pants to come down.
Notice there are plenty of things that take place before physical discipline.
When you finally have to spank your child you can rest assured you did everything to help them not be disobedient before coming to this.
When you have to spank your child, you want to do it right.
I know deep down you do not want to hurt your child, but you want to get across to them whatever they are doing is wrong.
This is what spanking does.
Hopefully most things can be taken care of without any physical contact, but sometimes it is the only thing that will work.
Author: Joe Bednarek Website: NaturalBabyIdeas.
com