It's time for you to discover the power of living an authentic life.
In order to live an authentic and truly free life, you need to have a boundary.
A boundary is an emotional, mental, physical or spiritual space that we all need, in order to maintain our true identity.
We need a boundary to be ourselves.
We need a boundary to resist unnecessary violation.
We need a boundary to be truly free My question is, are you truly free? In addition, to keep growing in life, we need to keep re-defining our lives.
So I am redefining cool.
And my new definition for cool is: Choosing to Overcome all Obstacles to a Life of freedom.
So let me ask you a few more questions.
If your relationship with people in your life, remained exactly the same, for the rest of your life, what would you miss out on? What would be in your life that you really don't want? Are you fed up of living life incognito? Then it's time to upgrade your Boundaries.
A boundary is a set of limits that you expect people to respect, including yourself.
Because sometimes, the problem is not other people respecting us, but sometimes the problem is, we allow other people to walk all over us.
However, having a boundary prevents us from unnecessary intrusion.
A boundary is a positive barrier, as opposed to a having a limitation.
A limitation stops you from what you need, but a boundary protects you from what you don't need.
Obviously, we are ignoring our boundarieswhen we have to always tell ourselves "It doesn't matter.
'' "Ignore it, and it will soon be over'' And "Just hang in there.
'' That means there is something we ought to be dealing with that we are ignoring.
But the truth is, whatever you ignore will persist.
We know we have a healthy boundary when we can say what we feel, and we can feel what we are saying.
And to illustrate this further, I'm going to speak about three types of social interacting strategies, which Independence, Co-dependence and Interdependence.
In general, independence means not relying on anyone else.
It sounds really good on paper, but we need to empower one another.
And people we can trust, can motivate us.
Having a healthy boundary is not always the same as putting up a wall.
A wall protects the person who has created it, but the problem is, a wall fences out good people, as well as bad.
Some degree independence can be healthy, but total independence can lead to isolation.
And no one is an island.
But on the contrary, having no boundary will cost you.
It will cost you your identity, your freedom and your wellbeing.
When we have no boundary, we tend to draw our self worth from other people, who may have different values to us.
This type of unhealthy social interaction is called co-dependency.
Clearly, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, when we allow other people to make our decisions for us.
People are subject to change, even when they are nice at first.
Co-dependence will steal self-identity self-esteem and self-respect.
However, the one that really promotes healthy boundaries is called interdependence.
Interdependency is about making allies and forming partnerships with like-minded people, who share our outlook on life.
Interdependence promotes mutual respect and empowers us to celebrate our own uniqueness.
We are all unique.
There may be a lot of people similar to you, but no one exactly like you.
Not even your identical twin, if you have one.
Interdependency is not apologizing for who you are.
Interdependency is having a healthy boundary.
A healthy boundary stops us getting too, close to those, who don't have your best interests, at heart.
When we have a healthy boundary, self-pity is replaced self-encouragement.
Despair is replaced with new healthy desires.
Feeling unloved is replaced with self-love.
If others won't have compassion for me, I might as well have compassion myself.
The truth is, if you want others to change, changing starts with you.
If you don't like your life output, it's time to change your input.
You teach others how to treat you.
To upgrade your life input, be vigilant about how specific people around you, make you feel.
I mean, do they make feel unstoppable or unworthy? Do you feel destined for greatness, or destined to fail, every time you are around them? Do they leave you cold or do they leave you inspired? Ask their support in time of need.
Their responses will show you where you really stand with them.
Besides, as you learn to extend your boundaries, you will shake away the shakable.
These are the people dragging you down; the excess baggage, the time wasters.
As you start to manifest your greatness, these people simply won't want to be around you anymore.
Not because you are doing anything wrong, but because they are enemies of progress.
Surround yourself with supportive people, who inspire you, to be better version of yourself.
But the ultimate support must come from you.
Support from yourself, will feel exactly the same to your soul, as support from others.
Look at yourself in the mirror everyday and say "You are special to me.
" And finally, as Samuel Smiles famously said:"It's not enough to have a dream unless I'm willing to pursue it.
It's not enough to know what's right unless I become strong enough to do it.
It's not enough to join the crowd; I must be true to who I am.
It's not enough to learn the truth unless I'm able to live it.