I learnt how to become a foster carer and fostering changed my life
Mid life crises come in many forms...fast cars, changing behaviours, change in fashion sense to name but a few! Mine came in the form of foster care, turning the life of our family upside down.
We've both got good jobs in different areas of Computing; own our own home (well us and the bank)we own our home (us and the bank that is) and pretty much had the freedom to do whatever we wanted when we wanted outside of working hours. But in December 2006 whilst at our neighbourhood Christmas bash someone we knew had said that they were thinking about fostering and thus the seed was planted in my mind.
We recalled how much we had enjoyed our childhoods, about how comfortable we were and how we were doing nothing but watching tv night after night and persuaded my partner to go for it, two months on I called my local authority and we started on a journey that has been nothing like boring. It was difficult to get through the process as we both work full time & the Local Authority took some convincing that we would be able to work and foster but I drew charts and obtained letters from employers and slowly they came round to the idea.
Since starting to foster my life has changedso much, I've started to volunteer with local youth organisations including youth offending and am studying with the OU in the hope of changing careers from IT to something more worthwhile. Foster care has opened my eyes to so much, I thought I was a well read person who followed current affairs but what gets publicised is just the tip of the iceberg. I am now thinking of giving up my career in IT to offer placements to young offenders so fostering really has turned my life upside down!
One of the downsides of foster care is the impact it has on your social life...you no longer have one. Everything you do has to include the children. There's no such thing as a cheap weekend away as you have to have a minimum of two hotel rooms or rent a house. We entertain at home a lot more to compensate and relish the time we get alone when they stay overnight with family or friends. This is far outweighed by the upsides, the little moments when something is done or said that makes you realise you are helping, that what you are doing is working, for example a 13 year who was going to leave school at 16 and go on the dole staying on to do A' Levels, or a 16 year old asking if he can come back to visit with his own children one day.
Of course it's not always good, there are fights, they run away and there was once an incident with a knife but like any family you work through it and come out the other side stronger and ready to try again. However, you also have to be prepared to admit defeat, it's not always going to work out people aren't always going to like you that's life and fostering is no different but if you have to throw in the towel you also have to realise it does not make you a failure and take away any lessons learnt ready for the next one. Fostering teaches you things about yourself, you really do find your limits, you learn which battles are really worth fighting, who the people are around you that you rely on the most for support and the importance of a sense of humour; it can be frustrating and wonderful at the same time and I don't regret a minute of it.
We've both got good jobs in different areas of Computing; own our own home (well us and the bank)we own our home (us and the bank that is) and pretty much had the freedom to do whatever we wanted when we wanted outside of working hours. But in December 2006 whilst at our neighbourhood Christmas bash someone we knew had said that they were thinking about fostering and thus the seed was planted in my mind.
We recalled how much we had enjoyed our childhoods, about how comfortable we were and how we were doing nothing but watching tv night after night and persuaded my partner to go for it, two months on I called my local authority and we started on a journey that has been nothing like boring. It was difficult to get through the process as we both work full time & the Local Authority took some convincing that we would be able to work and foster but I drew charts and obtained letters from employers and slowly they came round to the idea.
Since starting to foster my life has changedso much, I've started to volunteer with local youth organisations including youth offending and am studying with the OU in the hope of changing careers from IT to something more worthwhile. Foster care has opened my eyes to so much, I thought I was a well read person who followed current affairs but what gets publicised is just the tip of the iceberg. I am now thinking of giving up my career in IT to offer placements to young offenders so fostering really has turned my life upside down!
One of the downsides of foster care is the impact it has on your social life...you no longer have one. Everything you do has to include the children. There's no such thing as a cheap weekend away as you have to have a minimum of two hotel rooms or rent a house. We entertain at home a lot more to compensate and relish the time we get alone when they stay overnight with family or friends. This is far outweighed by the upsides, the little moments when something is done or said that makes you realise you are helping, that what you are doing is working, for example a 13 year who was going to leave school at 16 and go on the dole staying on to do A' Levels, or a 16 year old asking if he can come back to visit with his own children one day.
Of course it's not always good, there are fights, they run away and there was once an incident with a knife but like any family you work through it and come out the other side stronger and ready to try again. However, you also have to be prepared to admit defeat, it's not always going to work out people aren't always going to like you that's life and fostering is no different but if you have to throw in the towel you also have to realise it does not make you a failure and take away any lessons learnt ready for the next one. Fostering teaches you things about yourself, you really do find your limits, you learn which battles are really worth fighting, who the people are around you that you rely on the most for support and the importance of a sense of humour; it can be frustrating and wonderful at the same time and I don't regret a minute of it.
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