Relationship problem advice probably was not what Linda was expecting.
She was a promising dancer in her mid 20's who was visiting and working in London, where she hoped to succeed on stage.
I first met her at a social event and arranged to meet her again.
As usual, I simply set out to enjoy whatever came my way - the company, the food, the banter, etc.
I knew that whatever happened - heavy traffic, noisy patrons, a companion pining for her last boyfriend - whatever! I was confident that I would still enjoy myself.
So it came as some surprise when I realized that my companion, who had so much obvious potential, was troubled with terrible insecurities.
I was an Aussie living and working in the UK (she was from New Zealand) and could empathize with the feelings of coping with a strange environment, which was culturally very similar to what I knew but had many differences.
However, I could see that her anxieties went beyond this.
No matter how hard I tried to cheer her up or offer encouragement, there was a stumbling block I hadn't expected: she thought her friends had arranged for me to ask her out - that it was a setup! In fact, I didn't know her friends and had merely been impressed at our first meeting.
I don't like to encourage therapeutic relationships but understood that I was inclined to attract them.
So over coming weeks I created a little distance but had some contact as I thought there was one matter where I could be of help - learning to enjoy each day no matter what the disappointments and setbacks.
Instead of approaching each audition as a trial by fire, with her self-confidence being constantly shaken by the inevitable rejections, she began to see them as occasions when she could perform for the sheer pleasure of the moment - the simple joy of dancing - and began to look forward to her delight in dancing before others - regardless of the outcome.
Needless to say, not only was she enjoying herself more but, as her anxieties were lower, she performed more confidently; she had the necessary training and was now able to express it more easily.
She could allow it to flow.
More work came her way and, when it was time for her to return to NZ, she was happy with what she'd accomplished.
Her life experience in London had been a positive one.
I realize that people learn little from words, that it's life experience which does the real teaching.
However, here are a few thoughts to ponder about life, love and relationships: Enjoy What the Day Brings: Enjoy the dinner with those family members you don't really like.
Enjoy helping with the school canteen even though you have a thousand tasks at home crying for attention.
Enjoy the school concert when you'd rather be at home watching the football on TV.
Enjoy the efforts - and disturbances - your kids make as they struggle to find their own happiness.
Enjoy your partner's contributions though he often doesn't appreciate you.
Enjoy the promotional campaign even if it was your boss's idea and he's a dickhead.
Enjoy the date with the frog, though he's not your Prince.
Approaching each day joyfully attracts more joy.
So appreciate whatever the day brings - it prepares you for tomorrow and that'll be even better.
Bring happiness to the table, don't expect to find it waiting for you.
Choose to be happy and conditions which support it will follow! Find joy in each moment as it is the only relationship problem advice you'll ever need.