Laser eye surgery, to badly paraphrase the Clash song ‘should I go for it or should I not’? It does not matter how rational I tried to be when I attempted to answer that question as emotive factors would always cloud my judgement. I could tell myself that it is like flying, large numbers of people do it everyday safely without any harm befalling them. There would always remain a nagging doubt lurking somewhere in the back of my head concerning how safe it really is. The urban myth that during the procedure you can smell your eyes burning did not make me want to rush out and sign up for laser eye treatment. The idea of smelling my eyes burning is not something that I ever wanted to experience.

To help me with my decision I wrote a list of pro’s and cons. The column for the pro’s outweighed that of the cons by a considerable distance. That though was still not enough to make me take the plunge and commit to signing up to get it done. The real issue that I had was that I am scared of having it done. The thought of anyone or anything going near or touching my eye fills me with real terror.

This fear could be the result of natural survival instincts, always necessary for self preservation, or it could be the result of watching too many horror films as a child. Directors of horror films have a real gift for innovation when it comes to inflicting severe pain on eyes. They have an ability to conceive of numerous and particularly sadistic methods of inflicting damage on human eyes. When I think of my eyes being held open for the procedure I always think of the scene in A Clockwork Orange when the main character has the metal structures attached to him to force his eyes open while being made to watch a series of horrific images as an evil looking scientist keeps applying eye drops to the incapacitated subject. This scene was wonderfully parodied in an episode of the Simpsons.

It is this fear of someone or something coming into contact with my eyes that was the real problem. It was when I realised this that it dawned on me that I was dealing with a phobia. If I was going to have laser eye treatment what was required was that I got rid of my phobia or at least dealt with it.

When I think of ways of overcoming a phobia the first thing that comes to mind is the technique known as flooding. This is when you are immersed in fear until the fear passes away. If someone is scared of snakes the idea is that you make them handle snakes until the fear disappears. There is substantial documentation that indicates that this technique can be successful in ridding people of a phobia. How though would you apply it when the problem you have is with your eyes being touched? Stand in the middle of the street and ask people to poke you in the eye? Maybe I could make it a bit more personal by throwing a party and inviting a few select friends round and having them touch me in the eyes all night. It would be best if going for the second option to limit the amount of alcohol that each guest consumes prior to the eye poking. After some thinking I decided that there is not really an obvious or satisfactory method of using flooding as a technique in this instance.

The next idea to cross my mind was to try hypnotherapy. If watching day time television has taught me anything it has taught me that hypnotism can cure any problem and if it cannot do that it can at least provide a good laugh by making the unsuspecting victim strut about like a giant chicken. Maybe my real problem is that I have an over active imagination but I do not like the thought of someone burying suggestions deep inside my unconscious. I have seen the Manchurian Candidate, the original version not the terrible remake, and the idea of having thoughts buried deep in my unconscious does not sit comfortably with me. Maybe the real problem is with the amount of films that I watch as well as the nature of these films. The best option as far as my general health is concerned would probably be to cancel my membership of the local DVD rental store as well as stopping eating cheese late at night. That might stop me developing irrational phobias in the future but it does not help me in the here and now.

The problem that I was faced with still existed in the immediate. I knew that I wanted to get my eyes done. I was tired of having to wear glasses. As a counsellor would say I had the necessary insight to beat the phobia but lacked the ability to overcome the physical element.

It is all very good to be rational and to understand the phobia but being able to understand it as well as wax lyrical about it would not help me to overcome it.

The way that I managed to conquer this dilemma or at least how to practically circumvent it was partially down to chance.  At a recent ‘social event’ I ran into an old girlfriend who I had not seen for some years, well since we split up to be honest. All the time that we were together she had always worn glasses, she needed them for absolutely everything. She was never without them. This is the first time that I had ever seen her without glasses. In conversation it came out that she had been for laser eye surgery about six months previously and had not looked back since. She testified that like in the TV adverts that a little thing such as no longer having to wear glasses had made a major difference to her life. She asked me if I had ever thought of getting it done. I could have lied but instead I explained about my phobia and how it had prevented me from going for the procedure. Then came the part that really got me, she asked do I think that I am only the person who felt like this? I like to think from a purely selfish point of view that my phobias are unique to me but apparently this one is a common fear. If I am being honest I am not sure that I am all together happy with sharing my phobias with anybody else. It’s not the same as the concern about wearing shoes that other people have worn at bowling alleys or ice rinks. It goes much deeper than that. I like to think that my phobias as with my other foibles are part of what makes me an individual. Maybe that is selfish, but that is how I felt.

This knowledge may have helped destroy my over developed sense of self but it did help me move forward with changing another aspect of who I was, that being my poor eyesight. The advice that I was given was right, the staff at my consultation were able to talk me through my concerns and help put my mind at rest. No matter how daft my questions were the consultant always addressed each point that I made. I took my old school friends advice and even went to the same company and clinic to have the procedure. The difference that it has made is immense, the freedom and confidence that it has given me are I would say immeasurable. If someone is in the same situation that I was in I would happily recommend that they at least take the initial step of at least going for a consultation. I am more than happy to recommend the people that performed my laser eye surgery.