3 Ways New Parents Can Save Their Marriage
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2. Check in with each other.
Those 10 minutes are a nice way to stay connected on a daily basis. But being a parent is intense. Work is the same. So, you need to see how your spouse is holding up every once in a while. You might think all the pressure is on you, and your spouse lives on Easy Street. That's an easy way to let resentment build. But his or her perspective might be very different. So, just ask.
How do you feel? Has anything been weighing you down? What can I do to better support you? Of course, your partner should return the favor with similar questions for you. And you should chime in with your own feelings after hearing from him or her. This should be a two-way street. Then, you can figure out what you can do to better help each other and resolve any issues. Sometimes, you might just be listening to each other vent. That's okay.
This is a tough one. Babies can be a mystery, and parents are investigators trying to figure out what works for their kids. Sometimes, they never solve the case. Your decision to constantly point this out about your spouse, especially in public, is a poor one. You are just showing the divide in your marriage and humiliating your husband or wife. The two of you are on the same team.
If your kid is having a tantrum, it's not any one person's fault. If your kid is hungry, and you don't like the way your spouse holds the bottle, gently explain this rather than yelling at him or her.
Always, always, discuss these matters in private. People are going to judge you for your parenting anyway. Don't give them more fodder. Besides, you're making them very uncomfortable. No one wants that.
What you should be doing is building each other up and getting on the same page about parenting. When your child starts crying uncontrollably and your wife looks like she's next, then swoop in and try to help her soothe the baby. When your kid insists on sitting on mom's lap during dinner, offer to cut her meat. It's simple. Be considerate and use common sense. If the others around you don't get it or are giving you a hard time, then kindly excuse yourselves and leave. Remember, you're in this together. Your'e a family now.
2. Check in with each other.
Those 10 minutes are a nice way to stay connected on a daily basis. But being a parent is intense. Work is the same. So, you need to see how your spouse is holding up every once in a while. You might think all the pressure is on you, and your spouse lives on Easy Street. That's an easy way to let resentment build. But his or her perspective might be very different. So, just ask.
How do you feel? Has anything been weighing you down? What can I do to better support you? Of course, your partner should return the favor with similar questions for you. And you should chime in with your own feelings after hearing from him or her. This should be a two-way street. Then, you can figure out what you can do to better help each other and resolve any issues. Sometimes, you might just be listening to each other vent. That's okay.
3. Quit criticizing each other's parenting skills.
This is a tough one. Babies can be a mystery, and parents are investigators trying to figure out what works for their kids. Sometimes, they never solve the case. Your decision to constantly point this out about your spouse, especially in public, is a poor one. You are just showing the divide in your marriage and humiliating your husband or wife. The two of you are on the same team.
If your kid is having a tantrum, it's not any one person's fault. If your kid is hungry, and you don't like the way your spouse holds the bottle, gently explain this rather than yelling at him or her.
Always, always, discuss these matters in private. People are going to judge you for your parenting anyway. Don't give them more fodder. Besides, you're making them very uncomfortable. No one wants that.
What you should be doing is building each other up and getting on the same page about parenting. When your child starts crying uncontrollably and your wife looks like she's next, then swoop in and try to help her soothe the baby. When your kid insists on sitting on mom's lap during dinner, offer to cut her meat. It's simple. Be considerate and use common sense. If the others around you don't get it or are giving you a hard time, then kindly excuse yourselves and leave. Remember, you're in this together. Your'e a family now.
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