Modern day science has failed us.
Technological pioneers are still, to date, unable to provide each one of us with beer-fetching robots of our own, so we're going to have to use our superior wits and a little planning to pull through this unscathed.
When you think about it, if the idea was to simply keep our beer close by, this wouldn't even be an issue.
But seeing how we want to keep our beer close and cold, we're going to have to employ some of our old-fashioned human ingenuity to solve the problem.
Below, you'll find 4 tried and true methods that will keep cold beer at your fingertips for the entire game.
Here they are from low-tech and simple to high-tech and complex: Freezer Mugs I could write all day about these awesome vessels of cold-keeping technology, but I'll keep it brief because this article's already shaping up to be a big one.
If you're among the uninitiated, a freezer mug is an acrylic mug that has a locked layer of material (be it fluid or gel, or whatever) that stays colder than ice for a longer period of time.
You keep them in the freezer so they're as cold as can be until they're needed.
I've personally tested these things out and I've found that you can nurse one beer for hours before it reaches room temperature.
Ice It Down Truly a no-brainer, but having the right set up is key to not having a big wet spot on your floor after the clock runs out.
This less intense method of keeping cold beer at hand requires you to fill either a cooler bag or metal bucket with bottles of beverage and then ice them down.
Cooler bags are a great choice for this option because they're waterproof and you can pick them up easily using their handles to empty them out after the game.
Be careful if you choose to go with a metal pail, though: not all of them are waterproof.
This makes them susceptible to leaking all over the floor, not to mention rusting.
Waterproof metal buckets are readily available out there, so make sure you check before you buy it.
Get A Mini Fridge A little more intense than just using ice like our forefathers did back in the dark ages of standard definition broadcast, buying a mini fridge is a much better long-term solution for this problem.
It's certainly more costly than using ice however, once you consider the work involved in buying (or making) all that ice and keeping buckets of it around the clean-up involved if someone knocks one over, I'm sure you'll agree that it's plainly worth the cost.
PRO TIP: At the end of the term, check your local paper for great deals on unwanted mini fridges in your closest college town! Home Bar FTW If you really want to go above and beyond the call of duty, you can install a home bar complete with a keg cooler, a mini fridge (for perishable snacks) and shelves (for chips, pretzels and the like).
A home bar would also give you a great place to store your team logo glassware (like your mugs, pint glasses and pilsner glasses).
Above all that, wouldn't it just be awesome to be able to pull the tap and serve up some draft beer at home? In closing, remember that how you keep 'em cold is entirely up to you.
Find what you like the most and is the most effective for your needs, and do that.
Personally, I'm done holding out for the beer-fetching robots.