Building Blocks of a Marriage Relationship
Building a lasting marriage relationship begins way before the actual marriage.
It begins not even during courtship but much earlier.
It must begin at a point when a person who intends to form a family contemplates of the thought and does adequate preparation.
This preparation has got to be guided not only by the socially accepted norms but also but those not accepted.
Any person who wants to one day be in a marriage relationship must thoroughly understand what norms guides them in their society.
The purpose of these norms is to assist in building of basic minimum principals that one would accept.
In a society that does not mind multiple relationship for instance, such a person must ask-do I accept such? Does such a norm enable me fulfill my vision of a marriage relationship? As you define that, also audit those norms that you consider unacceptable to you or to your future marriage.
Once these have been defined, they help you make a picture of what you would like and dislike.
To distinguish between like and dislikes the society has some predefined roles and expectations of each party in a marriage.
We don't need to go through them in detail because most literature is based on them but just to mention them in random and without categorizing them they are: - Provision of protection-social and economic.
-Love and companionship-emotional and psychological.
-Procreation -Faithfulness-to one marriage partner or those agreed upon in case of a multiple partner set up.
- Vision-providing direction for the future.
- Spiritual growth-Providing a basis for the connection with the supernatural.
Our life experiences and those of others are valuable books to learn from.
Lessons learnt need not be positive or negative only but should assist in improving our own lives.
Sure, each person has dislikes and likes.
As far as marriage is concerned one does not pay much attention to them .
As a result many end up in a relationships that leads to marriage without much contemplation.
Many have found themselves already dating without knowing they are actually dating.
In the process, one gets into marriage by seeing themselves fulfilling some of the expected roles of a married couple.
Thus they find themselves doing what they actually thought their neighbors, friends or relatives would have avoided.
In other words they do not learn from others' lessons.
Before getting into a marriage it would help to ask yourself: - What do you like most about those you consider to be in a perfect marriage? - What do you loath in a marriage that you hate in your community? -How do you think you can better the relationship given a chance? - Did you plan to get into the relationship that you are in now These questions would make you begin to visualize your own marriage situation.
The aim is not to be judgmental but to draw up possible grid that you would use to navigate through your marriage.
It begins not even during courtship but much earlier.
It must begin at a point when a person who intends to form a family contemplates of the thought and does adequate preparation.
This preparation has got to be guided not only by the socially accepted norms but also but those not accepted.
Any person who wants to one day be in a marriage relationship must thoroughly understand what norms guides them in their society.
The purpose of these norms is to assist in building of basic minimum principals that one would accept.
In a society that does not mind multiple relationship for instance, such a person must ask-do I accept such? Does such a norm enable me fulfill my vision of a marriage relationship? As you define that, also audit those norms that you consider unacceptable to you or to your future marriage.
Once these have been defined, they help you make a picture of what you would like and dislike.
To distinguish between like and dislikes the society has some predefined roles and expectations of each party in a marriage.
We don't need to go through them in detail because most literature is based on them but just to mention them in random and without categorizing them they are: - Provision of protection-social and economic.
-Love and companionship-emotional and psychological.
-Procreation -Faithfulness-to one marriage partner or those agreed upon in case of a multiple partner set up.
- Vision-providing direction for the future.
- Spiritual growth-Providing a basis for the connection with the supernatural.
Our life experiences and those of others are valuable books to learn from.
Lessons learnt need not be positive or negative only but should assist in improving our own lives.
Sure, each person has dislikes and likes.
As far as marriage is concerned one does not pay much attention to them .
As a result many end up in a relationships that leads to marriage without much contemplation.
Many have found themselves already dating without knowing they are actually dating.
In the process, one gets into marriage by seeing themselves fulfilling some of the expected roles of a married couple.
Thus they find themselves doing what they actually thought their neighbors, friends or relatives would have avoided.
In other words they do not learn from others' lessons.
Before getting into a marriage it would help to ask yourself: - What do you like most about those you consider to be in a perfect marriage? - What do you loath in a marriage that you hate in your community? -How do you think you can better the relationship given a chance? - Did you plan to get into the relationship that you are in now These questions would make you begin to visualize your own marriage situation.
The aim is not to be judgmental but to draw up possible grid that you would use to navigate through your marriage.
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