Make-Believe is What It's All About
by: Arleen M. Kaptur

Blame whomever or whatever you choose to, but children
have been forced to give up one of the most important
parts of being a child -

Before video games, sport practices, computer surfing,
and TV prime-time sorry excuses for "family time", children
are faced with pressures and demands that other generations
never even dreamed of. While all work and no play may make
John/Judy dull, it also robs them of one of the most precious
and rapidly depleting commodity of youth. There is absolutely
less and less time to dream, imagine, and pretend. While now
some adults reading this will bemoan the fact that their children
know what real life is all about and can compete in whatever
comes up. True, but you still cannot erase the fact that they are
children. They are not miniature adults, short versions of fully
grown grown-ups, and they are not pawns to be used for social,
political, and economic advancement. On a recent TV show, one
of the hosts of the show made a statement that brought the
reality of what life is like for a child of today. He said simply,
"You had the time to have a child, now deal with it." Pretty
tough talk, but also right to the point. It is not easy, but no one
said that it would be. It wasn't easy for you, me or anyone who
has had to raise a child, but while we worried, stressed and
crossed our fingers and hoped for the best, the world was not so
dead set against us achieving what in all reality will be the most
important position we ever hold in life. Raising a child into
adulthood and giving them not only the advantages of life, but
the fun and enjoying of it as well.

Take sports for example - did you ever see the tension in the eyes
of the young participants as the parents on the sidelines scream
and yell. I have attended soccer games for my grand children and
to hear a parent berate a seven year old with "What is the matter
with you - get back in there and do it right." A gag order might
work but then there is always that trip home. Parents can
encourage but they cross the line when they discourage and insult.
The budding ego of any child is fragile and needs more than
directions and side-line rhetoric to come into full adult preparedness
to handle "life." I'm sure some psychiatrist out there would say that
you have to look at what that parent encountered growing up. Sorry,
but that excuse to me falls on flat ground. If it happened when you
were a child, you are an adult so deal with it as an adult and don't
perpetrate a wrong. Even family oriented sports like hunting
have become times
to hand a gun to a 10 year old and trust that they will treat it as
an adult, when in fact, they might like to but their emotions, and
make-up doesn't give them the pleasure. No matter the maturity
level of a child, they can't change the cells and hormones that make
them children. If you remove enjoyment, magic, and fun from every-
thing, then what is left? They grow up thinking that life is a struggle,
they missed out on closing their eyes and thinking of nothing more
than clouds and building sand castles. They know that this would
be scoffed at as foolish, but it still doesn't take away the gnawing
battle between their physical make-up and their parents view of what
they want from a child.

Even schools have ventured into the jungle of tests, more tests, and
more tests. The tests many times involve government funding, and
could be the grease that oils the economic wheel. They give home-
work which should be to reinforce what was covered that day, but
many times it includes material that should have been covered, were
it not for the tests that took most of the day. Primary grades
especially need a chance to develop their individual interests and
for teachers to find out what whets their appetite and what "budding"
interest might spark a future scientist, doctor, or even politician.
Homework should ease a child to think, plan, and dig into his/her heart
and find out what he/she is made of. There are flowers but there are
also bees. Some see fast cars and others see grease and oil. One
child can look at the sky and pretend that he/she is resting on the back
of the breeze, while in all reality that air current is stimulating a
future NASA member.

We owe it to our children to give them time to do nothing. Nothing
does not mean that they will turn on yet another TV program, or
exercise their thumbs on a video game. It means taking a walk down
a trail, visiting an airport, or even just standing and watching the
waves come in. It is giving a child the time to be just that - and in
the long run you will see those eyes brighten, that heart quicken and
the flow of ideas, concepts and hopes from pretending, imaging, and
playing might spark the desire to find solutions, cure ills, and bring
back life to adults who have lost all hope by keeping their noses to
the grindstone and their lives to that ticking device on their wrist.
It takes a bit of "nothing" to produce some of the most wonderful
"somethings" that are out there.
Something to think about
©Arleen M. Kaptur
March, 2008